His little gasp, his little squeak, his deep moan when his eyes disappear into the back of his head when I know I've "gotten it right" (a phrase I've heard many Dominants use; it is for me the prime goal and the most difficult thing to attain), is everything.

The pressure to create is immense. I am the artist, he is the canvas. If I don't do anything, nothing happens. The tendency to repeat makes life difficult because if I've done this before, then he knows what's coming, and that gets boring very quickly. My focus is on his sensation- he needs to know I'm there, he needs to feel my power, he needs to know my control.
Jennifer -- you completely put into words how I feel about My Pet when it comes to the bedroom. I love testing and pushing limits, but only because I know she loves when I do it. I am not doing this for Myself, but for her reaction...it is her reaction that is such a turn-on to Me. I love to make her squirm, whether it be from pain (I am a bit of a sadist) or pleasure (though that's sadistic too), and my favorite thing to force on her is the "talking rule". This rule, basically, entails that she speak throughout the entire experience, telling me when I'm doing something she likes, what she wants, etc. My mind needs that, because I need to feel as though I'm in total, complete control.

I have so little control over most of my life that knowing that I can silence her with a word or a look is precious. Not because I want to be mean, or cruel, but because that feeling of relief that comes with being in charge is so immense, and because I know she appreciates and understands that and is willing to submit to me in part to help me ease the strain of feeling worthless and powerless.

But mostly what's going through my head when she's tied to the bed is: what can I do to get her to make that delicious moaning noise?