She meant... for this one-time encounter, you're not looking for S&M per se, so yeah, a bar might work.

She wasn't sterotyping every man in the world, at least no more than you were stereotyping male prostitutes as "all gay".

So take the advice with the good intent it was given.

Also... if you aren't particularly choosey, consider a sci-fi convention. They're full of needy young men, many are quite nice looking, most are intelligent, just socially awkward. Plus it has the added advantage of ongoing partying in the evenings... and there is often an active group of kinksters also attending.