Quote Originally Posted by brwneydgirl View Post
#3--I'm not sure you do get over it. In fact, I'm not sure I want to get over it. Do I feel shame and humiliation about things I enjoy (and feel I shouldn't)? Yes. But that leads to it being even more HOT (forbidden).

#4--I love name-calling. The nastier the better...but if it bothers you (you get no enjoyment from it at all), maybe it's just not your thing--and that's fine too. It's a limit of yours. Better you recognize it now and can let him know than going along with a chip on your shoulder over it. "Good girl" is lovely too...and it sounds like you can accept that one...so, hurrah!!

It sounds like you're moving in the right direction....Good luck to you!!!

It's more of the shame afterwards than during. There is a certain appeal of doing something you shouldn't as you're doing it, but afterwards I just find myself...mentally beating myself up for what happened. Or I'll find myself believing the things he'll say when we're in the moment. That's where I become unsure of the name calling. It's not that it bothers me as much in the moment (although it is taking an adjustment to get used to it, especially if he wants me to call myself names, eek), but it's after we're done and I start taking what was said to heart.