confused

[DevastatedAngel]

that makes sense to me. I have also come to realize part of my confusion came from the misconception of being a Sub with being a slave. I know that I am looking for something long term and because of my experiences I want some one that loves my and will protect me. I'm still trying to understand the being submissive side. Perhaps I'm still confused about what a Sub is/does/means?

[IAN 2411]

I know that I am looking for something long term and because of my experiences I want some one that loves my and will protect me.

Just because you need those things does not mean you’re a sub, i gave my real life Mistress/Wife protection for thirty years, did that make her a sub, I think not.

I'm still trying to understand the being submissive side. Perhaps I'm still confused about what a Sub is/does/means?

In my case i was as powerful as my Mistress but chose to hand my power over to her when i came home in the evenings. Don’t think for one minute a sub rolls over and lets people walk all over them, it is not like that they are not carpets. You chose your own destiny in life, and you chose the way that feels comfortable to you. No person can tell you which direction you should go, that is why we were all born with brains and minds of our own.


Regards ian 2411

[openyoureyes]

People can be jerks whether Dom or not. There are plenty of great Doms *winks*. Maybe it's just the case that you haven't yet met the right one.

No person can tell you which direction you should go, that is why we were all born with brains and minds of our own.

Pretty much I want to echo this. Being a submissive does not mean the person you're with shouldn't listen to you, what you want, what you aren't ok with. If someone takes advantage and abuses the power you're giving them, you can take it back and end the relationship with that person.

So I was wondering if any of you could tell me what to expect being a Sub? What are some of the good qualities about being a Sub?

Oh dear that seems like a loaded question, lol. The good qualities are going to vary based on who you ask. For some it might be about letting go of the control, or not feeling responsible for what's done under your Doms control, for some it might be about feeling safe and/or cared for, or maybe they just feel good when they are being told what to do and/or dominated. There's no right answer. The important thing is figuring out what you like and knowing that it's ok. If you're a sub, great! If you're not, that's great, too.

Figure out what makes you happy, find someone who can give that to you. Don't let anyone tell you what you're feeling, or what you should be feeling. The best advice that was given to me was: It doesn't matter what you think you should feel, it only matters what you DO feel. Trust your instincts.

[Jennifer Williams]

Perhaps I'm still confused about what a Sub is/does/means?

We could all talk about that until the cows come home...and we have, and the only conclusion is that it means something a little different to everyone. Just like people are individuals, so is every sub, every Dom, and every relationship.

If it's a relationship that you're after, don't worry so much about what kind of sub you are/aren't or whatever. Look for the person that makes you feel good to be with them. Just like regular dating, just with extra spice on the side.

Hell, if they want to call themselves a sub and still do the whipping, you might confuse everybody but if you're both happy, who cares?