Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer Williams View Post
That is how anyone feels when a relationship that they invested a lot of themselves into doesn't work out. You put a lot of work into something and then it falls apart, and that hurts in a lot of ways. But do not blame yourself. As badkitty said, nothing that you did caused him to cheat. That's squarely on his losery shoulders.

Also don't think of the time you spent as wasted, either. What you have learned about yourself through this endeavor will make you wiser, and improve any future relationships you'll have, too.
All true. I happen to have a poly orientation but am very clear and up-front about it. I like my girl to be the same. It's all about your expectations.

One additional thought... though any relationships can elate or disappoint, D/s relationships are far more mecurial. Everything seems to happen faster and bigger. The highs seem to be bigger than vanilla (well, they certainly are for me,) and the lows can be far far lower. You mostly need to know that the next relationship will be better. Both from what you've learned and from the how it compares to what you feel now.

They say it's better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all... and take it from an old hand... it's even better to have loved and lost and loved again.