thanks Oz, that makes me feel better. Everyone here is just so nice. i've never known this many caring ppl in my life and it's amazing that so many ppl who haven't even met me are able to show me more compassion and love than most ppl who have. i really appreciate all the kind words and wisdom. Oh and Jennifer, i know that's true and i shouldn't consider it wasted, but it sure does feel that way :-\