How might a sub get her vanilla man to start dominating her?

[fetishdj]

With regards to the 'easy out' argument, I would say this is easily countered. It is not an easy path to completely serve someone in this way. You have to be aware at all times of your place and your duty, you can't simply ignore them. This is tough to do all the time.

As for being vanillla.... I agree that it is possible. I suppose we are playing with definitions of 'kink' and 'vanilla' here. This sort of relationship was considered normal barely more than 30 - 40 years ago. The only difference is that, as a modern post feminist woman, you have the choice. You can choose to marry, serve a man completely and do all that just as much as you can choose to not get married, have a career and so on. Some feminists may call you a traitor for this attitude (cos, Slutcontrol, I don't think the problem is going to be the BDSM community who I think will barely care but rather the hardcore feminists who see any relations with a man as a betrayal) but frankly, this is the freedom they fought for and you still have the choice not to do it. Just as a modern BDSM slave is nothing like the 'official definition' because they have the choice to walk away.

I would suggest a good long talk with your husband, possibly involving some form of sharing of fantasies. This will help to identify both your needs in the relationship.

[leo9]

Some feminists may call you a traitor for this attitude (cos, Slutcontrol, I don't think the problem is going to be the BDSM community who I think will barely care but rather the hardcore feminists who see any relations with a man as a betrayal) but frankly, this is the freedom they fought for and you still have the choice not to do it.

If it helps, every woman in my life has been a more or less militant feminist, and my most humble slaves have been the fiercest defenders of their rights in the wider world.

I agree with fetishdj about having a fantasy sharing session, as a way to learn more about each others' needs while having fun.