Who has the most power?

[Ozme52]

I like the employer/employee illustration. I submit that it may be a bit simplistic for the description of relationships.

Of course. Simplification makes complex ideas comprehensible. Analogies are wonderful for using that way.

Power seems to be as a word too vague. It describes the possession, by one party, of a thing of value desired by the other party. Me having, and you wanting, is leverage. I now have the ability to compel you, to a degree. The value that YOU place on the thing I possess determines the extent of that leverage - how far I can push.

This took me a while to think about... something wrong with it and now I see it. I disagree because it's part and parcel of that initial contract. The employer has all that power over me as the employee... but I agreed to it "in exchange" for that paycheck. A D/s power exchange is the same. The sub cedes power to the dom because of what they get in exchange, something they need, desire, or covet. An employee may even get to wield power within that exchange (take the cases of a middle manager,) or just as in ancient times, a slave might have run the household affairs on behalf of the master, or in a M/s relationship, the sub runs their household, raises the kids, etc, though still under the direction of the master.

This simple dynamic describes employment, because -generally- in a work environment the employee is replaceable.

That depends on the skills and training of the employee... or the submissive. Not all are easily replaced. weg

In a relationship both parties have leverage.

And that depends on the nature of the negotiations and subsequent relationship. Certainly some pairings are more one-sided than others.

Her desires place value on my strength, stability, attention... My desires place value on HER stability, submission, ability to compartmentalize...

Then that is what you two exchange. It does not ipso facto give her power over you

Codependency is another way of saying mexican standoff. If I did not value my sub's emotional welfare, I would have all the leverage. I would also be a douchebag. ^.^

Co-dependancy is a negative concept imo. Co-dependents can't function without each other... and that's less of a relationship and more like a negative-symbiosis (to coin a term,) and certainly not a mexican stand-off. Co-dependents wield zero power over each other. They can only function with each other and that's very far from a D/s relationship imo.

Even situations where the sub claims to have no self regard seem to me to be false, because that in itself is a trait that any dom could value, and thus the sub has gained leverage... Power...

Occam's razor. It is called a power exchange because it is, and in a very literal sense.

Pardon me; I often use typing to think.
-matin

Well, in this I disagree, because you use power exchange to mean exchanging one kind of power for another and this itself is what leads to this confusion over who has power. Again, the sub trades his/her power to me in exchange for things s/he values from me... and that's not power.