Everyone here gives such sage advice. Thank you all. We talked quite extensively and actual collaring is not what he wants yet. He wants me to take an oath to solidify my commitment to the journey as my resistance and shall I admit, disrespect, is holding me back. He said I take 1 step forward and 2 back and that taking the oath will allow me to be free of the resistive chains that bind me. He didn't understand my issue and part of it was due to my internet acting crazy and ims were missed on both ends which led to major confusion.
I have a difficult time putting a lot of this into words as so much of what I feel is deeply visceral, but it is all worked out now and we have a clear understanding of the other's view.
As far as the pressure he is under, he is dealing with a few personal matters, real life stuff, that is external and not really within his control.
As for ending my marriage, this last attempt for me was a last ditch effort. Emotionally I am shedding no tears as this relationship has been over for years. I may share a space and bank account with him but that's it. We haven't even slept in the same bed for a long time. So the only baggage to get over is logistics.
Thanks again for the support and advice!