Have her buy some cat toys, especially the one that wiggles around on the floor with a little yarn "tail" hanging out of it. A sort of mechanical mouse. Make her put on her sparkly collar and make you a vid or do a webcam session of her playing with her toys.

Lapping milk from a dish.

Peeing in the litter box.

I've had cats that would play fetch. More on their terms, but still. Make her bring her toys to the webcam in her mouth.

Also, I think a lot of women who get into kitty play in particular don't really want to inhabit the animal all the time. There's an element of sexy woman in it too. And cats and women's sexuality have been associated even in the vanilla world for a long time. Remember Catwoman on Batman? She wasn't Ponygirl for a reason. So she can combine sexy woman, or sexualized woman, into her cat play too. if you and she are into, say, playing around with her orgasm, I don't see why Kitty wouldn't have to be particularly seductive in order to have one. Don't forget, even cats beg when they smell you opening a can of tuna. And Kitties don't like to be wet. So if she gets wet - bad Kitty! - maybe she needs to dry off and sit in the corner for a while.

Is sexual arousal like catnip for her? Maybe the more aroused she gets the sillier and jumpier and more playful she needs to get, for the play to continue. Maybe when she comes she needs to yowl and meow, really loudly, like a cat in heat.

Whew. I don't get into pet play, but maybe I need to reconsider it.