Do Looks Matter for a Master?

[Jennifer Williams]

connect with my mind first.

Oh, yes.

[Ownedfyre (mm1)]

yes. I cannot be with a man who I am not attracted to, mind, body and soul. The Dominant attitude has to be there as well, making it a powerful combination.

Having been in the actual presence of only a few Dominants I can say that I can definitely tell who is the real deal.

Oz, you ARE the real deal! LOL. I remember meeting Oz for dinner....he is a very TALL man, but more than that, he was just "In charge" from the moment we met. It was a new experience for me. One that had an impact on me in many ways, and that was just dinner!

Thanks Oz!

[Ozme52]

Thank-you fyre.

[CuntyVonTwatington]

I won't lie, looks ARE important to me. So important, in fact that I've thought enough about it to be able to sub-divide looks into categories:
the physical body (height, bone structure, weight)
style(clothing and hair)
body language.
I think most people are somewhat willing to be flexible when it comes to what is physically ideal in regards to height, hair color, eye color, weight etc possibly because this aspect of our looks is what we have the least control over.... we still can't do a lot about our height (though I have heard about some surgical options, most people don't). Yes, there are colored contacts, hair dye and the gym, but we can still only do our best with what we've got... which brings us to style. I think how someone chooses to dress, how they do their hair etc tells a lot about a person.... not everything of course, not everyone with a mohawk is a rage-filled anarchist (ok, hardly anyone with a mohawk is) not everyone in a suit is respectable (ok, ok, I know, hardly anyone in a suit is) but still, people choose their clothes for a reason, though sometimes subconsciously. Lastly, there is body language, and I think that how someone carries themselves is probably what I react to the most. True confidence and self-assuredness can't really be faked..... unlike almost everything that we see when we look at someone. And almost everyone agrees, that's attractive

[Master4girls]

Even though Im a dom, I would think soo! It would be hard to give your everything up to someone who you thought was physically unattractive who you thought they looked better with clothes on and werent attracted to them AT ALL, right? But I dont do looks matter as much as in the vanilla world. For me, finding a submissive, a girls submissiveness is such an attractive thing that I would find a girl who was cute and decent looking but not gorgeously hot and was submissive to be way hot than the gorgeous blonde next door, tall, nice legs, big breasts but who was fiesty and dominating. So for me, I dont need a girl to be stunningly beautiful to be attractive in my eyes, I just need them to be submissive and easy on the eyes.

[Secretside247]

HELL NO!!!! Of course looks don't matter, it's all about the experience and the fun!! Who gives a damn about looks, except for those damn snobby people!!! It's all about that rush and gettin your blood pumpin! HEHE

[Dejah Thoris]

Absolutely not - for me, lasting attraction is mental. Although I may meet someone and immediately place them in the shallow attractive/unattractive bucket at first glance, as soon as they open their mouth my opinion will shift depending on their ideas, attitude and intellect. This may sound a bit nuts, but in my search for a Dom, I do not want to know what they look like until they have completely captivated my mind in text and voice.

[VaAugusta]

My looks are important to me. I keep myself well groomed, in shape and stylishly dressed. I consider myself to have a beautiful and captivating personality and i see no reason that that shouldn't be displayed outwardly. Keeping those views of myself in mind i want my Dom to feel the same way about himself.

I have to agree with this one. Speaking aside from the purely sexual point of view, it is difficult for me to understand why a submissive would want a dom who can't take care of himself. If the dominant is unable to control his appearance then I'm not sure how he would be at all suitable for taking control of a person. But maybe my stance is a little skewed as I'm content about my looks.

[brwneydgirl]

HELL NO!!!! Of course looks don't matter, it's all about the experience and the fun!! Who gives a damn about looks, except for those damn snobby people!!! It's all about that rush and gettin your blood pumpin! HEHE

Hmm....I don't think I'm snobby at all....just honest. Is the experience important? Of course it is. But let's not kid ourselves.

[clarity25]

Am I wrong, but don't looks matter to most people, regardless of whether they're BDSM or vanilla? And aren't Dom/mes just as particular when it comes to the appearance of their submissives?

[openyoureyes]

Am I wrong, but don't looks matter to most people, regardless of whether they're BDSM or vanilla? And aren't Dom/mes just as particular when it comes to the appearance of their submissives?

I would definitely agree with this. To be in a relationship with anyone there has to be a level of attraction. This is pretty universal whether you're BDSM or vanilla. However, not all subs will be attracted to the same type of guy. I don't think specifically that he has to look the part of Dom for there to be that level of attraction. I would go so far as to say the 'nice guys' will surprise you more when they assert their dominance and can get more of a reaction/response, at least initially.

[brwneydgirl]

I would definitely agree with this. To be in a relationship with anyone there has to be a level of attraction. This is pretty universal whether you're BDSM or vanilla. However, not all subs will be attracted to the same type of guy. I don't think specifically that he has to look the part of Dom for there to be that level of attraction.

I completely agree. It's a broad question..."Do looks matter?" Of course they do...(and anyone who says different is kidding themselves). This is not to say that we all find the exact same traits attractive. Some look for tall partners, some short, some fat, some thin, some with a full head of hair, some prefer bald...whatever creams your twinkie. And honestly, with a personal connection and mutual "intense like" of one another, the way someone looks can take a backseat.

But to say that looks don't matter is ...unrealistic.

[denuseri]

Not only is it a little unrealistic sisa, its also perhaps a little dishonest.

[nawteeone]

I personally don't feel that looks matter. To me, it's more of an aura that a guy has, you know? I'm typically attracted to tall males, but M is only about 5 inches taller than my 5'4" self. It really doesn't matter because all he has to do is give me a look and I'm putty in his hands.

[Ozme52]

I personally don't feel that looks matter. To me, it's more of an aura that a guy has, you know? I'm typically attracted to tall males, but M is only about 5 inches taller than my 5'4" self. It really doesn't matter because all he has to do is give me a look and I'm putty in his hands.

Clearly you are conflicted... having said looks don't and looks do matter.



And kidding aside, why wouldn't ones "aura" be part of what we call "looks"?

[brwneydgirl]

why wouldn't ones "aura" be part of what we call "looks"?

I understand what this means...and not in relation to "looks". It's a way of carrying oneself, an attitude, confidence, intelligence (maybe a little arrogance) that draws you in....

But, there *has* to be a physical attraction, there just does....otherwise, maybe you could have a terrific friendship/mutual "like" but any sort of physical fun would be ....difficult.

[Ozme52]

But, there *has* to be a physical attraction, there just does....otherwise, maybe you could have a terrific friendship/mutual "like" but any sort of physical fun would be ....difficult.

I agree. It just need not be the Madison Avenue "norm"... I think that's somehow involved in the arguements against looks mattering.

[brwneydgirl]

^Agreed.

[leo9]

I met my late slave-wife, my ex-slave and my pet thir as words on a page first. (I put it that way because the first was back in the paleosilicon age when we exchanged pieces of wood-pulp at up/download speeds of 1 kiloword per week.) I was in love with each before I saw their faces.

The only one whose looks were a jolt at first sight was my late wife, and I think she chose the most unattractive photo she owned - either as a challenge, or from the urge to self-sabotage which she never wholly overcame. I looked again and thought "I know she's the one, so I'll learn to love that." And when we first met in 3D, I found her beautiful.

If you love the mind, the body will look good.

[MstrWolf_ncs_lilbrat]

You know, finding a true master is hard work. There are so many guys who call themselves master because they want to take advantage of someone else's submission. That shit really pisses me off. But ok so a slave finds a master with the right mindset. How much training does he have? what does he know about safety? Is he just guessing or is he an expert, and at what things? How many years of experience does he have? And then, what are his rules like? Is he quick to release slaves? Does he keep one or more than one? Where does he live? Would it be possible to relocate to serve him better? What about his anger: if he gets upset will he use personal attacks or remain objective? Will he punish in anger? How much self-control does he have?

These things are SOO much more important than looks, because looks won't keep me safe; looks won't make me feel secure; looks don't look out for my best interests. If i can find someone who meets all the requirements plus who is good-looking that's wonderful but if i had to settle on something looks would definitely be it. i want a master, not a model.

[troublemkr{jonjon}]

Of Course looks matter !!! U may call me shallow or superficial but you have to admit your face is the first thing they will see or notice , unless your bendover ass up in the air lol. But looks can only take you so far... whats more important is not what my Master/Dom/Domme looks ..its what He makes me feel... he makes me feel protected,safe,love,secure, happy and want to serve him with all my heart and of course spoiled