Some excellent and well put responses here, wish I was so eloquent myself. For sure there has to be an emotional connection. How else can we ensure the doctrines of safe, sane and consensual unless on one level we have connected emotionally with our partner enabling one or other of us to feel able to relinquish control. Without that emotional bond we are at the mercy of the maniac or sadist.

But, we can achieve an emotional connection and level of trust and understanding without the deep and fulfilling love that we reserve for our life partner (if we choose to have one) which would be great if these were one and the same person.