An Emotional Connection

[StormKat]

Yes, it can and does happen without an emotional connection... Play parties, the existence of Pro Dom/mes, porn for that matter - it all points to the fact that this stuff is out there without a level of romance, commitment, or shared emotional depth. It still carries are the basic elements of BDSM in just the same way as a one night stand is still as much intercourse as the sex between a married couple that has been in love and together for years.

I'm going to disagree here, as I think the examples provided are more encounters than relationships. The point of having a one-night stand or a play scene with a stranger at a party is that there is no relationship inherent in either situation. Therefore, they would fall outside the OP's question.

Yes, you can have BDSM without an emotional connection but having someone beat you at a party doesn't mean you're in a relationship with that person. I also think it speaks more to the difference between top/bottom & dom/sub dynamics. I'm not trying to start a definition war! Let alone saying one is better or more right than the other. But the original question was fairly specific in regards to D/s relationships that had gone on long enough to establish trust & feelings over time, not brief encounters.

[DowntownAmber]

I'm going to disagree here, as I think the examples provided are more encounters than relationships. The point of having a one-night stand or a play scene with a stranger at a party is that there is no relationship inherent in either situation. Therefore, they would fall outside the OP's question.

Yes, you can have BDSM without an emotional connection but having someone beat you at a party doesn't mean you're in a relationship with that person. I also think it speaks more to the difference between top/bottom & dom/sub dynamics. I'm not trying to start a definition war! Let alone saying one is better or more right than the other. But the original question was fairly specific in regards to D/s relationships that had gone on long enough to establish trust & feelings over time, not brief encounters.

I was thinking more along the lines of play parties with the same group of people over time, extentions of munch groups and the like. To nitpick it, however, would indeed cause a definition war...lol What is a relationship, and so on. If we assume a relationship already means an emotional connection, then the question is moot, etc.

Anyhoo, this kinda' boils down to me to the oft asked, "can you have just friends with benefits?" vanilla query.

For me, same answer: yeah, you can, but a) it's unlikely for it to stay that way for one or both partners, and b) still not my style.

[VaAugusta]

If we assume a relationship already means an emotional connection, then the question is moot

This.

Also, brwneydgirl.. just out of curiosity.. You say that you're not sure you're ready for this level of poly. But what I'm wondering is, are you fulfilling what you would ideally want? Or are you simply taking what kink you can get your hands on since it is hard to come by?