Dear Pandora

Cultivate patience.

Especially since he is new, he will perhaps be hesitant and unsure of many things. Be a help to him as opposed to a burden. It will take time to come into balance and harmony with each other and for a little while at least if not indefinitly (if your relationship blossoms in such a fashion) make your needs subordinate to his own in this regard, especially considering he will be learning his craft for some time just as it took time for you to learn your own. It will take lots of patience and hard work for both of you.

A safe word can perhaps be introduced to aide him for a little bit (never to be used as crutch or a way of topping him) until such time as he becomes more confident but as a saftey tool to help reassure him that he isnt harming you.

Sit down with him and have an open and honest conversation with him.

Perhaps with a notepad for both of you to take notes or to aide your memory, outline your desires and the direction you wish to see your relationship go and encourage him to do the same and when you have your feedback sessions (which in my experience should not ever take place imedieately after a session but the day after) you can compare and work together as a team.

Provide him with information (links to web sites or threads you think may aide him etc as well as books and such) without expressing your own personal in a manner that will overshadow such information in an objective manner and let him decide what will or will not be appropriate to do or not do with said information. (You could even ask him to read the responces you will get here in the forums...in fact I highly recomend he make his own account here as well.)

Eventually once his confidence increases you will perhaps find that he is rising to the task with more ardor and the feeling that you are the one directing things will naturally subside as he takes his rightful place over you. He will of course have his own desires and needs to be fufiled and vanila society hasn't exactly encouraged him to act upon such things...but you can.

The exchange of knowledge should never be considered "topping from the bottom" (one must divorce from themselves that concept for it will fester like a thorn in one's side) you his willing experienced submissive hold in your hands the keys to seeing him develop into a wonderful dominant and will allways be his best rescource. Encourage him to seek what information that will aide him where ever he can find it. What is found to be useful for the two of you can be retained and the rest discarded.

My Owner is fond of saying that his best teachers in the art of holding wise dominion have always been the very submissives at his feet.

One day when the tree the two of you have planted in the garden of your relationship has grown stronger and bore fruit perhaps he will be able to say the same.

I truely hope that you will have a long and mutually fufiling relationship together.

Please feel free to inquire if ever eaither of you find yourselves in need of assistance.

Respectfully

A sister in submission.

denuseri