There are some quite deeply ingrained responses which stop us from hurting people we love. This is the main reason why many inexperienced Doms feel nervous about inflicting it. There are also more recent social mores about who is allowed to be in charge in the household which can inhibit Doms. These are both difficult to overcome. I remember the first time I was asked to spank a woman and I could not do it and when I did do it I did it nervously and not very hard.

I agree with all the advice above. You need to have this long and frank talk. More to the point, you need to keep having these long and frank talks all through the relationship. These talks need to be 'outside roles' which means you are not a sub/slave and he is not a Dom, even if you are 24/7. This is because it allows you as the sub a chance to speak your mind and him as a Dom to get honest feedback to what he is doing (i.e. not 'Of course I enjoyed it, Master, you are wonderful' but 'I enjoyed it but I think I would prefer more/less next time and I don't think I can take much more than 2 minutes of those nipple clamps at the moment. Oh, and I thought the left handcuff seemed a little stiff when you slipped it on'). This way you are always evaluating and reassessing your needs and responses and so your relationship develops rather than becoming stagnant.

There is a very fine line between 'Topping from the bottom' and not doing so. A lot of the time this is based on personal preferences of the Dom and sub involved. However, in general, I would say that giving honest feedback and pointing out things you like the Dom could do to you is not Topping from the bottom (in most cases). In this case you are merely giving the Dom appropriate information about you and your preferences. He has no obligation to use this information (though he would be foolish to do so, especially if there were a safety issue you were informing him of), he could ignore your suggestions and do something else entirely. Your involvement is therefore not an authoritative one but an advisory role - he still maintains ultimate executive power in the relationship. If, on the other hand, you were telling him *during* a session that you want him to do *this* to you *now* in *this* particular way then you are almost certainly in Topping from the bottom territory.