to fetishdj and all on this thread.

A little more insight to our relationship as to why i asked the question in the first place..My husband and i were in a huge rutt to the point of splitting,i had been the dominant force in our relationship and he had been the submissive one..not sexually or any other interesting way but day to day,i hated it and totally lost my sex drive.I have a very old fashioned view that a man should be in charge of the household of the bills and how the dynamincs of the relationship between man and wife work but the more he let me get away with the more i did get away with to the point that i lost my purpose and my way and he sank deeper into submission.i forgot who i really was and who i really wanted to be.So you see the reason for my question was that i don't want to be left to get away with things as before and although i have to retrain my way of thinking as well as he does the basics are still there for me which is my old fashioned streak.

As in the actual scenes and some of day to day when we are alone or around people that don't know us i am always respectfull and always ask nicely ...and beg nicely to..lol...but i know that ultimatley whatever it is i want the decision is his to take not mine and i do feel a certain warm fuzzy feeling when he does.discussions are happening but for me not enough but that is only because i have a huge problem with opening up so mostly i write my feelings down or blurt it out for him to get me to speak.

I had been sending him information and links with little footnotes saying how i felt about them and with the 'maybe we could' or 'if you wish to we could try' ...i saw it as topping from the bottom but realise i was actual just being usuful.I really do not wish to fall back on my old ways so i shall be coming back to this from time to time to see just how far forward or how far back along our journey we have come.

Oooops i'm so in trouble he remembered i had'nt written my journal or kissed him when he came home over the weekend.......ouchie.. huge smiles and has a shiver down my spine...

Thankyou all...big hugs