Hello, I am also in the same situation as you, and the whole topping from the bottom concept is my constant companion! It can be hard to find the right way to say things, which has led me to a few things,

Saying things the wrong way, which tends to hurt self confidence (yours and his)
Not saying anything, which stops you both learning and growing together.

Bit of a catch 22 isn't it! It can take a long time to realise just how honest you both have to be with each other, we have been at it for 5 years and we still aren’t there. But from my own experience I can tell you that compliments and positive statements go a long way. If you want to be spanked more than saying that you loved it so much when he did it last time then that is a sure way to get him to do it again lol. If it wasn't hard enough - then don't say oh you did it wrong straight after the event, try saying that you love that tingle that you get when you are spanked and you would like to feel it more.

Is that topping from the bottom? Maybe so, but who cares?! Seriously, does he care, or are you just worrying about it because you read it somewhere? I used to, and still do occasionally, but how else are you supposed to improve each other’s confidence? Or get to where you both want to be? I haven’t found a way yet, because if he is very new then if you leave it all to him, give him no feedback because you don't want to feel like you’re telling him what to do, then he might be so nervous that he is afraid to try that new thing that’s been on his mind for ages.

But I am now at the point that I don't have to do that as much, because now he knows what works for me and what doesn’t and I know that about him, it took a while, and I messed up a few times, but we got there. Patience is the key!!(Yeah I know that sucks but its true!)

Good luck and if you want to chat then feel free.