I just got around to reading this thread. I know that it is a discussion from long time ago, but still would like to say something.

First of all, even though I have many opinions I think that it is very hard to generalize BDSM relationships, and to say what the rules are (I am not talking about physical part). It is up to each individual couple to decide how they want to call each other and how they want to express their love and commitment. Just like many people have different views on what real love is, the same applies here. As far as I am concerned if both people enjoy and are happy in their relationship then why not.

Second point, the internet and what it does to people. I think that many people take the internet to seriosly. For example I met a guy on ICQ, and he started telling me about his wife. Then I saw his website where he and his wife post notes for each other. Then he told me that they got "married" online, and how his computer crashed in the middle of the "ceremony" and "the bride" cried and was very upset. They "kiss" each other goodnight. etc. etc. etc. They never saw each other and live in different countries. I know that this is not a single case and also many people "live out" their BDSM fantasies in Chat Rooms. I do not understand that. Maybe I am missing out on something, if that is the case please explain to me how is it possible to enjoy something like that. I mean as a game yes sure, its cute but no more then that. I have nothing against people meeting online to talk or to just be friends or to meet later, as long as they realize what is real and what is not.