How to be safe?

[VaAugusta]

One girl that I met in real life told her safe call person that she met me from a dating site, which I kinda hated because, frankly, dating sites are the last refuge for people who can't do anything in real life. She didn't mention it was a kink-related one of course. I hated it because if I ended up meeting her roomate, I'd be a guy from a dating site. Yuck. But it does help to explain WHY so many precautions are being taken, at least.

People feel more comfortable once they finally meet in person. That's why vanilla encounters have such a high rate of success. You can usually tell if someone is a weirdo off the bat. And of course, before people come flying in with: "They could seem normal until they have you tied up1!!!!!" There might be someone who appears all normal but is secretly a serial killer.

If you happen to run into her, then you were probably fated to die. Sorry, luck was against you!

[thir]

One girl that I met in real life told her safe call person that she met me from a dating site, which I kinda hated because, frankly, dating sites are the last refuge for people who can't do anything in real life. She didn't mention it was a kink-related one of course. I hated it because if I ended up meeting her roomate, I'd be a guy from a dating site. Yuck. But it does help to explain WHY so many precautions are being taken, at least.

I kind of have the same feeling, I do not like to say that I have met people on a site/add somewhere.

But I am working with it, because it really isn't true that dating sites are the last refuge. If we all lived in a small village and had time on our hands, we would run into other people naturally. But things are not very natural any more. We move in narrow circles, often with very little time to see other people than our co-workers or whatever. The natural societies of the past are not here anymore, and in the course of your life you do not have much chance to see anyone, especially if you do not like cafees or bars or the like, or do not have loads of time for various organisations and meetings.

So you have to do something else, and the really sad thing would be to sit in a room and do nothing!

I think these times can be described as times of emigration: people meet each other over the net, fall in love on the net, and eventually meet and get married. It is a mind-to-mind meeting, with cluttering social signals out of the way. I live in UK, come from Denmark, have a sister in Sweden. MyLord have family in Scotland, US and Australia. My sister's friend's daughter lives in Australia, and they have to meet in Thailand for family gatherings. And I could go on.

All of which is just to underline that meeting on the net is natural.

All the same, a partner should not be more free with information than you are comfortable with. On general pronciple.

[ar1]

One girl that I met in real life told her safe call person that she met me from a dating site, which I kinda hated because, frankly, dating sites are the last refuge for people who can't do anything in real life. She didn't mention it was a kink-related one of course. I hated it because if I ended up meeting her roomate, I'd be a guy from a dating site. Yuck. But it does help to explain WHY so many precautions are being taken, at least.

I have to say I'm with you on this one too... A few weeks ago I brought up the topic of dating sites with some friends and they all looked horrified at the thought of me using the internet in order to meet anyone - like you said, their view was that it was a last resort for people and I'm nowhere near needing to be at that stage. I think any mention of me meeting someone I met on a dating site would cause quite a stir, but of course if I just said I met them online that would raise a lot more questions about where exactly.

Finally debating whether to just come out with it all and confide in a close friend or two and hope that they can understand or at the very least tolerate my interest and watch my back, so to speak, if I say I'm going somewhere with someone who I've met through the internet. It's a really daunting thought though, and I'm thinking I'd rather confide in my mum than a friend who I live with, in order to still have somebody aware of what I'm doing and when as a safety measure. Of course that's a really scary thought too!

I wish I was invincible...