I guess "balls" is correct enough...There is a difference between being "dominant" and being an "asshole". Some people can't tell the difference. In some there is no difference. I'm NOT a submissive, I get a bit testy (read pissed off) when someone tries to be "dominant" or just ballsy to me. I don't try to dominate my SO, though at times I think that is what is desired. When I ask a question, I get a question in reply. I can't tell if that is passivity or passive/aggression. I suspect the former. To be a true "dominant" and to be dominant over another means to take responsibility from or for another person. That, to me, is the greater issue. Doms/Dommes definitely need the greater "training" or direction. The submissive is giving over their responsibility. If the individual they are submitting to either doesn't know how or abuses that responsibility, then both lose. In my initial response I was comparing the "gold" that a submissive represents, i.e. someone who relinquishes their personal responsibility - that rare value of an individual, to someone who has the strength of "iron" (NO, NOT IRon, Wiz.) In reality, thir's initial question is quite valid. Why isn't there more discussion about what a Dom/Domme should need or be? The Dom/Domme certainly has a greater opportunity to do harm to the sub. While I would like to have the "power" that being the dominant in a relationship represents, I'm old enough and experienced enough to realize that I don't necessarily want the dual responsibility it requires.