I'd personally advise against rushing in carrying a 4 page bdsm checklist and saying "let's go through these and see what you like", especially as many items can sound quite scary to someone who hasn't done bdsm before. As the others have said, you need to be clear and calm about it.....start small and simple. Just handcuffing someone to the bed can work fine for a first time, or blindfolding them and taking it slow.

For your long distance predicament, there's quite a lot of stuff around the internets. Some people like having a webcam dom, to control them from afar, setting tasks and things. Only fun if both sides play along, don't cheat yourself. The desire should last after the erection fades You might want to have whoever's gonna be the dom join the tasking society here - they've got some activities to practise making good tasks - perfect for long distance domming.

Good lucks!