please need some answers :)

[69Vamp69]

i have been always interested in BDSM and such stuffs but i havent tried to practice any of my fantasies on any of my ex's gfs ....

and now i feel it in my so deep that im so interested and wanna go with such stuff but im clueless have no experience about BDSM and i even dont know how to start it with my Girlfriend although i guess that my girlfriend will be up for anything with me as long as we are having fun together

can someone just give me some clues and some information ?

i will be so thankful for any support wish you all the fun

[Stone]

Start small soem light bondage handcuffs stuff like that but doing a bdsm checklist would be a grea tplace to start...do a google search and both of you fill them out....

[Liushka]

Putting some list down might indeed be a good idea, so that after some research you might have a better idea of what you want to start with. What about discussing it with your girlfriend as well?

Maybe if you bring the topic up, you might research together and talk about it before actually putting anything in practice? Communication being key in my opinion, that might be a worthy way to go.

[69Vamp69]

thank you so much for replies that helps a bit and i have done this checklist but ive found myself bit confused about some stuffs lol :/ i guess im a switch then ?

im not sure about what im so how can i talk with her if i cant make up my mind about what exactly i want ?

can anyone tell me how he/she started ? maybe that can help me sorting my mind a bit more :/

thanks for everyone helping

[Liushka]

It's not that often that someone knows right away "who" they are, and this includes BDSM as well I think. It's about discovering, so saying that you are unsure isn't a bad thing with your girlfriend. You two discussing things that you might like, that she might like, and see what you two are willing to explore together can probably help figuring things out.

I know that talking about things helped me a lot with Keltar, to figure out even further more what I liked, what I was okay to try even if it didn't appeal to me right away, and who I was. It's a process that can take time.

[Keltar]

My best suggestion is look at some of the past threads on this forum, there are many with first timers like yourself, they can provide much information given by many and might even have some answers you might not yet have come to ask about. Like the others I do suggest you make a list, what you want, what you hope to get, what you like and look at what she likes as well. Ask her, see what she enjoys, what she wants to do, find out if she has any kinks that match your own and then give it a shot, you don't know until you try. If there is anything that confuses you specifically or one area does then you can look things up quite well enough to find out more about certain subjects depending on your taste. The key to all this is communication, if you can talk with your partner and share what your feeling, what your hoping to accomplish and what you both want then it shall go much easier, those without communication tend to falter. Don't be shy, such things need to be discussed.

[69Vamp69]

True that helped me so much to set up my mind at least i knew that my next step is to share with her in an open discussion and see where that will take us

then will post here again seeing if my BDSM steps is going normal or not

thank you guys and wish you all the best

ah i have something else , what if we are far apart right now and we cant live together till after 10 months ? is there any ideas we can do online or in the fone till we meet again ?

[Snark]

Normal??!! WTF is NORMAL?!

[DeityorDevil]

Normal??!! WTF is NORMAL?!

Setting on the washing machine, Snark.

You've gotten some excellent advice here so far. I second/third that communication is incredibly important, before, during, and after any sessions you may have.

[leo9]

Normal??!! WTF is NORMAL?!

It's the shampoo rating between "dry" and "greasy".

[CaptainZeus]

I'd personally advise against rushing in carrying a 4 page bdsm checklist and saying "let's go through these and see what you like", especially as many items can sound quite scary to someone who hasn't done bdsm before. As the others have said, you need to be clear and calm about it.....start small and simple. Just handcuffing someone to the bed can work fine for a first time, or blindfolding them and taking it slow.

For your long distance predicament, there's quite a lot of stuff around the internets. Some people like having a webcam dom, to control them from afar, setting tasks and things. Only fun if both sides play along, don't cheat yourself. The desire should last after the erection fades You might want to have whoever's gonna be the dom join the tasking society here - they've got some activities to practise making good tasks - perfect for long distance domming.

Good lucks!