I'm sorry for taking up so much space on the forums, but I really could use some advice.
the good thing about these places is that space here is unlimittted. Help your self ;-)


Quote Originally Posted by mkp View Post
I've thought of myself as a switch, but I'm less sure about that now. I still think it'd be fun (and hot) to take control for a bit, or tie someone up and tease them, but I don't think I could really domme someone. It seems like so much responsibility. I think I'm too selfish to do it properly.
There is no 'doing it properly'!. No fixed formula. There is only what works for each and every one of us. So if tying people up and teasing them is what you like, go for that, and never mind what other people do or do not do.

There is no law against having fun ;-)

Is it possible to be submissive and still have fantasies of dominating someone?
Oh yes!

Is it possible to be submissive when submitting is ultimately all about the way it makes *you* feel, and not the dominant at all? That seems sort of selfish to me, but I do tend to overanalyze things.
As I see it, the important thing here is that you and your love/partner are totally clear about what you both want. As long as you find someone you are honest and compatible with, nothing is wrong.

I keep coming back to this site and then freaking myself out and leaving for long periods of time. Has this happened to other people?
In my organisations we discussed a thing we called 'overdose'. It happended with especially new people, who would get totally ovewhelmed very quickly and feel real bad about it all, even, in some cases, a little sick. Apparently for their own individual reasons they reacted very strongly to everything.

I guess the only remedy is to accept that this is the case, and then make sure to take things in very, very small steps.

I know that I probably have some sort of issues--I tend to feel guilty about wanting sex and stuff like that, even though I would be the first person to tell someone else that it's perfectly natural and okay. Beyond the general internet paranoia of "oh God, my mother was right and there are serial killers out there" and the internal slut-shaming of "oh God I want sex" and "oh God I want BDSM sex", what usually scares me enough to make me leave is the way I start to feel.
Sigh..the ways we are brought up, it is insane, it really is.
Maybe it is the same as before - take pleasure a bit at a time?

When I'm talking about this kind of thing, or in chat, I start to feel all tingly and weird and everything seems really intense. And it scares me. I mean, in someways I like it, but it's scary.
It is totally normal reactions.

I can get the same sort of feeling from holding my wrists, but then it's less scary and more of just an ache of some kind. Like, it feels good and relaxes me, but I'm missing something and it makes me ache deep inside. Not like a sex ache when you're really turned on, more like the first time you kiss someone?

Does this happen to other people? Is this maybe the beginnings of subspace? Are there things I can do to be less scared of it?
Yes, at least it has happended to people I know, and to me, in the beginning.

It sounds like you are starved for bdsm attention.

I do not think there is anything you can do to be less scared than what you are doing right now - talking about it. And accepting that right now it is like that, but it won't be later on.