This seems sort of bothersome and self-serving, but I have some questions

[mkp]

First I want to thank everyone who's replied. It really means a lot to me--I'm not sure I can even tell you how much.

@Snark

You were taught that what you enjoy is wrong. It's hard to unlearn something that was pounded into you from an early age. It's more wrong to beat yourself up because what others have said is "wrong" is what you enjoy.

This probably is a big part of it. I just don't understand how I can understand and honestly believe it's okay for other people but not for me. I guess it's something I just need to work on, though. It means a lot to know that I'm not weird and strange in the world of weird and strange. :P

@Thir:

In my organisations we discussed a thing we called 'overdose'. It happended with especially new people, who would get totally ovewhelmed very quickly and feel real bad about it all, even, in some cases, a little sick. Apparently for their own individual reasons they reacted very strongly to everything.

I guess the only remedy is to accept that this is the case, and then make sure to take things in very, very small steps.

I'm glad I'm not the only one! In my case, I think it gets further exacerbated by my tendency to obsessively submerse myself in the site. As interesting as this all is and as much as it draws me, I guess I really do have to take things slow. It's hard, because sometimes I just *want* things so much, but I don't want to really upset myself either. It's also very reassuring to know that the way I'm reacting to even just this website is normal (or at least normal-ish); that makes it less scary.

@DeityorDevil

The best suggestion I can give you, is to check in with your feelings very regularly. If something starts to feel scary or overwhelming, take a step back to breathe for a minute, think about what you're feeling and where it's coming from. Is it a reaction to something someone said? A reaction to your response to something you read? Write it down, if that helps you to feel clearer about it. Think about what function that emotion is having for you.

This is really good advice! Thank you. I mean, it seems like common sense and all, but when I get upset or scared, common sense tends to fly out the window. Having had someone else who's not me tell me to remember to take a step back and breathe I think will be really helpful.

@ami_r90

Remember you have support here on the forums in whatever ways we can help, and I hope we can!

I'll try! Everyone here has been so nice and supportive, which really goes a long way in making me feel more comfortable. I see what you mean about the labels--I do kind of wish I could label myself so everything would be easy and packaged up, but on the other hand, labels are definitely for cans, not people.

Thank you all again. So much.

[brwneydgirl]

I do kind of wish I could label myself so everything would be easy and packaged up

Labels, labels, everywhere and not a drop to drink. I started off wanting to label everything and everyone, too (myself included). The funny thing is, though...everyone's definition of any given label at any given time is different. Your label definitions aren't the same as mine and mine aren't the same as his or hers or theirs or .....eek!

Try not to run off when you feel over-stimulated...try to come back and read and then read some more....and keep coming back and reading and chatting and maybe soon it won't feel so foreign and confusing (or at least, you'll be sort of "used to" that feeling and it won't bother you...it'll excite you).

When I was in college, I really got into philosophy. I liked to talk about it and read about it and study it and think about what it meant in all its complexities....such a broad topic and so intimidating to a beginner! So I basically immersed myself in everything I could find until it wasn't so intimidating...and I could hold my own in conversations about it and I became more comfortable with the topic. That's sort of what I did when I first came here, too. I'm still nervous and a little skittish about this or that but I feel comfortable with my place here...no matter what label I use to describe myself.

Good luck to you!!