I think all your your feelings are understandable and valid in this. It is helluva paradigm shift to realize first- that what you want is not what "other" people might want, and a second, even bigger shift to come to terms with it and accept that even if it isn't what other people might want- that it is okay for you. All of your feelings, of being overwhelmed, scared, guilty, are a part of this process. They are all okay, and probably very important to you getting in closer touch with your desires.

Most people also operate on "primary" and "secondary" emotions. Primary feelings being- how we feel about a specific impulse, either internal or external. Feeling afraid and excited both, in a BDSM scene, relate to activities in the scene, and are very powerful primary feelings. Secondary emotions are how you feel about your feelings. Guilt, is a major secondary emotion in MOST cases. Feeling guilty over being excited, frustrated with yourself for feeling afraid, might be secondary emotions in the scene. Primary emotions, are generally very hard-wired into people, but secondary emotions- largely- are optional. They may not seem that way at first, but really, they are. In my experience, in the scene and out of it, secondary emotions are the ones that trip people up the most, because they tend to encourage denying the very real primary emotional response, which isn't possible.

It's hard to unlearn something that was pounded into you from an early age. It's more wrong to beat yourself up because what others have said is "wrong" is what you enjoy.
This is the most difficult part, letting go of those "secondary" emotions, that are essentially- what other people have told you that you should feel, and embracing what it is you do feel, and appreciating it as your own experience that is okay in and of itself. Because it is yours, and belongs to no one else. That's one of the beautiful things about the community. Your kink, is okay. And it's okay to feel however you do about it.

The best suggestion I can give you, is to check in with your feelings very regularly. If something starts to feel scary or overwhelming, take a step back to breathe for a minute, think about what you're feeling and where it's coming from. Is it a reaction to something someone said? A reaction to your response to something you read? Write it down, if that helps you to feel clearer about it. Think about what function that emotion is having for you. Some emotions, are powerful indicators that something is "not right" and should be listened to, because they indicate someone has crossed a boundary that maybe you didn't realize you had. Others, like feeling excited and anxious, might be related to doing something new that you find titillating, and are still learning a lot about. Once you've calmed down a little, don't be afraid to wade back in at whatever pace you're comfortable with. Working at accepting however you feel about a situation, as is, for good or bad, will probably do a lot toward helping you also become comfortable with what you do genuinely enjoy and don't enjoy. It also makes it much easier to tell exactly what those things are.

And absolutely keep posting and let us know how it's going. Self-acceptance can be a rough road for anyone, especially when it means accepting something that might be a little "off the beaten path" (pun intended.)