Building on what brwnyedgirl said; after reading a lot of posts you my try to pm a few folks that seem to relate to you and bounce some ideas or impressions around that you might feel aren't ready for public display. Those that have been there and back a few times tend to not get too worked up over things that someone new to the situation finds scary, intimidating or upsetting. The "it's okay for others but not me" is a heavy ball chained to your ankle. Time for a hacksaw!