Kuskovian,
You and I are almost always in agreement. But I must ask... do you ever fly commercial airlines, let someone else drive, or let someone "decide" what you, as part of a group will do for entertainment. I certainly do... and upon occasion, I make the demand that my sub keep her head about her and provide me the service of being responsible for her own safety so that I might let loose and submerge myself (or is that "dommerge myself") in some or the rougher aspects of my kink. I certainly still maintain a level of self control... but not necessarily self restraint, (a subtle difference.)
In that way, I am the recipient of total sexual and emotional release, call it excess aggression burnoff. Because sometimes... it just has to be all about me.
For that, I trust her to go exactly as far as she can take, no further, and the safeword is the delimiter. AND, by doing so, we learned that we both could be more intense than either of us had previously thought. Quite educational.