Originally Posted by
chipmunk_
I was in a largely broken vanilla marriage. I'd unsuccessfully tried to introduce some aspects of bdsm into our life, several times. Occasionally, I would seem to have very minor success, but it never lasted, and there were way too many other problems. When I came to the Library, I was in a bit of denial, thinking that I was making a last ditch effort to save things with my husband. What I now see, is that I was really looking to try bdsm, in a tentative, somewhat safe way.
Unlike what denuseri said, I definitely saw what I was doing as a form of cheating, and I didn't like it. As soon as I'd gathered enough courage (and paused for knee surgery) I left my husband. That was about six months ago, and I've never been happier or more satisfied.