It's easier for some people to rationalize a behavior as a learned trait that can be blamed on someone else rather than assigning personal responsibility. They see the world as existing within the filter of their choosing, ignoring the simpler fact that different individuals can experience similar things with different results. The classic image of a woman waiting with for her husband a rolling pin always assumed that he was a jerk who deserved it. Yet if he had slapped her after receiving a knot on the head, he was guilty of abuse. Men are no different than women in the refusal to believe that the person they married (or is living with) can be the abusive monster that they occasionally are. Abused women have support groups and agencies...as indeed they should. Men are laughed at for not being "man enough" to stop being abused. A steak knife, rolling pin or cast iron frying pan are all deadly weapons, whether in the hands of a man or a woman.