I think people need to do a few things,
1) realize that a marriage and a civil union really aren;t the same thing: a marriage is, in my opinion, a religious ceremony that joins two or more people together in the name of something. A civil union is a legal contract whereby two parties agree to become one financial entity that can jointly own property, make decision for one another should something terrible happen, and be recoganized as "on the same team" so to speak
2) with that in mind, the fact that there is a seperation of church and state means . . . the gov't has no right saying gays can't marry, but that's a decision for the churches. on the flipside, there's no reason gays can't enter into a civil union.