Online bullying

[thir]

Men's Rights Activist.
Basically a group of people (not just men, surprisingly) who feel that allowing women equal rights somehow means their own rights are being trampled upon. In essence, those people who protested in Steubenville when a couple of HS football players were found guilty of rape because they drugged a girl into unconsciousness and dragged her around to several parties, raping her multiple times. They had no empathy for the girl, but were outraged that these two young men might have their futures destroyed over some slut. Real assholes, in other words.

yes, I read about that, totally incomprehensible!

I don't know about that. I was a teenager once (yeah, long ago, but still...) and I don't remember it being that sensitive. When someone tried to bully me I fought back, as TheDeSade said, away from the school.

Not everybody can, it depends. How do you fight back a whole group? Your reactions often spur them on, idiots as they are.
I remember being that sensitive, and I hated school, as many people do. My only defense was to pretend I did not care.

Schools are soft on them because any real punishments are protested by parents, usually through lawyers. Consequently they DON'T know how to deal with it. What needs to be done, perhaps, is to start charging the parents with violations, with large fines and possibly jail time. As I said, most bullies learn that they are practically invulnerable because their parents will keep them from being punished.

But if that is the case, the parents would keep themselves equally invulnerable by hiding behind their lawyers, I fear.

Good luck trying to prove that. Unless you have emails, texts or videos of the bully actually urging the victim to kill himself I don't see how you can definitively prove that the bullying led to the suicide.

But the students know, and sometimes it really is found out, and the ring leader is suspended.

This seems to be the real answer. I've noticed that several instances of bullying online have been stopped when the bully's personal information was revealed, along with transcripts of his bullying. They seem to be real happy to reveal their victim's personal data, but when you turn the tables they run for cover.

A last resort, I think, seeing how you do the same as the perpetrators, but saying it is ok in a good cause..There is too much of that already.

Maybe the talking about these things in homes and at school AND online can turn the tide. Bottom line, the question I think is WHY they do it, and attack there. I do not mean the individual reasons, but the way they use the net.

[Thorne]

But if that is the case, the parents would keep themselves equally invulnerable by hiding behind their lawyers, I fear.

Perhaps, but that will cost them money, and at the least get their attention. And if they have to pay legal fees AND fines, they'll do something to reign in their kids, in most cases.

A last resort, I think, seeing how you do the same as the perpetrators, but saying it is ok in a good cause..There is too much of that already.

Self-defense is always acceptable behavior. And when taken off school property there's less likelihood of involving teachers and administrators. And mostly, getting the primary bully (there's always a primary, the others tend to follow his/her lead) away from his pack can really defuse the situation. So many of these people are weak and helpless on their own. Showing your strength in a place where his followers can't see his cowardice can make a huge difference.

And sometimes a knee to the groin, or an "accidental" elbow to the nose as you make a sudden turn, is enough to let them know you can't be bullied with impunity. That's a hard way to go, though. Most of the people the bullies like to pick on are the quiet, non-confrontational ones.

Maybe the talking about these things in homes and at school AND online can turn the tide. Bottom line, the question I think is WHY they do it, and attack there. I do not mean the individual reasons, but the way they use the net.

The WHY is basic in-group/out-group dynamics. The way they use the net is based on the perceived anonymity it provides. Exposing them and their actions for what they are has been helpful there, at least.

[thir]

And mostly, getting the primary bully (there's always a primary, the others tend to follow his/her lead) away from his pack can really defuse the situation.

A good start, but does not always seem to solve the problem. I think it is a mistake to stop there - the others continue, and someone else could step into the role as ringleader, or the ringleader becomes a matyr.

And sometimes a knee to the groin, or an "accidental" elbow to the nose as you make a sudden turn, is enough to let them know you can't be bullied with impunity. That's a hard way to go, though. Most of the people the bullies like to pick on are the quiet, non-confrontational ones.

I understand your idea, but that means that you have to know who the ringleader is, and that you have to be sure you do not have the whole hoard of other bullies over you. And, as you say, the ones picked are often non-aggressive people.

I think the long term solution is to work with the attitude towards it, to make enough people realize how cowardly that kind of thing is. The problem is obviously on the rise, and something will have to be done. I find it vital that the net not be allowed to grow like a jungle with no ideas of right or wrong, and neither the rulers nor the police can really do anything about that. It is up to the users. An awareness that behavior on the net is not gratis or completely removed from any other life.


The WHY is basic in-group/out-group dynamics. The way they use the net is based on the perceived anonymity it provides. Exposing them and their actions for what they are has been helpful there, at least.

I think you are right: it is a combination of net and group behavior. You can then start asking why there are so many followers in groups, why the dynamic is the way it is. Maybe one answer is that the schools are more concerned with academic standards that with citizenship ones, but one is at least as important as the other.