The mask you live in

[Thorne]

Is it really this bad???

It can be. A lot of it is cultural, and it seems to have an economic component to it as well. But mostly, it's how you teach your children to "be a man". And as a father of two boys (now men themselves) I have to admit, it wasn't easy to overcome the culture. They're taught by their peers to strike back when someone disrespects them. I tried to teach them that violence was almost never a solution to any problem. If someone disrespects you, laugh at them! If they hit you, tell a teacher. If you're in trouble, any kind of trouble, ASK FOR HELP!

That was the hardest part. Kids don't want to ask for help. It's a sign of weakness, I guess. But once you get them to talk, to ask for help, to respect themselves, it does get easier, I think. Of course, I had it a little easier. My oldest was one of the smarter kids in his class, and knew that the bullies were stupid, generally. My youngest was one of the biggest in his class, and most of the bullies were afraid of him. And I tried to teach them that "being a man" meant helping those who were weaker, not picking on them. All in all, I think they turned out fairly well.

[thir]

It can be. A lot of it is cultural, and it seems to have an economic component to it as well. But mostly, it's how you teach your children to "be a man". And as a father of two boys (now men themselves) I have to admit, it wasn't easy to overcome the culture. They're taught by their peers to strike back when someone disrespects them. I tried to teach them that violence was almost never a solution to any problem. If someone disrespects you, laugh at them! If they hit you, tell a teacher. If you're in trouble, any kind of trouble, ASK FOR HELP!

That was the hardest part. Kids don't want to ask for help. It's a sign of weakness, I guess. But once you get them to talk, to ask for help, to respect themselves, it does get easier, I think. Of course, I had it a little easier. My oldest was one of the smarter kids in his class, and knew that the bullies were stupid, generally. My youngest was one of the biggest in his class, and most of the bullies were afraid of him. And I tried to teach them that "being a man" meant helping those who were weaker, not picking on them. All in all, I think they turned out fairly well.

Thank you for your answer. I wonder how or why it got to be like that, and if girls have much differently.

It would be good if other males would have something to say, even if not US.