I think the only way to "change" this jealous behavior is for that husband (through some sort of counseling or 12-step -like group) to work through his issues. Definitions must be created for this discussion. We also need to use them properly. I submit that he is not jealous ... he is "possessive" which is much more sinister in nature. He sulks: a manipulative action meant to cause harm to his wife, to force her back to his side. It is controlling, in effect, her actions. It is also punishing. I believe that jealousy is a normal, healthy "pang" .... a momentary knee-jerk reaction to seeing someone you love gaining more attention, etc. but it is quickly overcome and the healthy attitudes (as you mentinoned above) spring in to complete and therefore mitigate the initial feeling of jealousy. I suggest that persistent jealousy, in which the healthy attitudes of love and selflessness are never manifested, is a synonym for "possessiveness" and will always result in an impossibility for "enjoyment [to be had] all around."