Kink or lifestyle?

[Guest 91108]

Smiles.. thanks Red.

You are definitely a sub ..even if you are a fiesty sassy one.

[Sir_Russell]

Been a while since I was here. This I know only for me since it is the only mind I can read. I AM DOMINANT with or without sex, I can't remember a time in my life that I wasn't. I find that in all most every aspect of life people look to me to lead, direct or find a solution.
All ways the leader of any sports team I was on even when I wasn't the best athlete.

For me it is who I am and I have lived in it long enough to not have to prove it each minute.

[Platonicus]

I do believe there is a siginificant difference between simply having an interest in kinky sex and the lifestyle. Actually even some vanillas at times have a taste for kinky sex. To me the lifestyle encompasses so much more than that singular, albiet enjoyable aspect. I have experienced some very deep and meaningful experiences within the lifestyle that didn't involve anything sexual. Whether we understand ourselves to be Dominant, submissive or Switch, I think it is important that we grasp what we are and how that nature contributes to who we are if we wish to consider ourselves a part of the lifestyle.

[thrall]

So for simplicity sake......

I think .....kink......is something you enjoy.

the lifestyle.........moves you from your soul.

[Gr1m'sGirl]

I honestly don't think I could be happy in a relationship where I did not have a Dominant. I've always felt like something was missing when I was in relationships with those not interested in D/s.

[~faerie~]

So for simplicity sake......

I think .....kink......is something you enjoy.

the lifestyle.........moves you from your soul.

I agree. The kink was fun but just not satisfying enough. Something was missing.

[skippy1980]

This thread happened to jump out at me. i just joined as a member today, and i can say from my past expierences within the lifestyle, that i was unfortunate enough to have three different "Dommes" that only wanted control in the bedroom. i was twenty yrs. old with the first "Domme", and was misguided due to her wants in the bedroom, but having no controll of me outside the bedroom. i was young and with my second Domme (She actually wanted a 24/7 live-in), i went into that relationship, thought i knew alot more than what i did, and was shown the door by Her very quickly because i thought i had more expierence than what i did in the lifestyle. i've since had two other "Dommes" that, also, unfortunately, wanted only play in the bedroom. It's now seven yrs. later for me, and luckily, with my second Domme, i know now what is nessessary outside of the bedroom...learnig how a Domme wants Her meals prepared, learning how to lace/tie Her shoes/boots, ect, learning just the basic of how She wants things done in Her personal and/or private life. On a Personal note for myself, i have only known one stretch of happiness in my life since my mother passed away when i was 13, and it was with that second Domme...Giving up the control i had over myself to Her...it was the most amazing thing i have ever bee a part of...i honestly feel screwed over by the other three "Dommes"(especially the first one), for giving me insufficient knowledge of the 24/7 lifestyle, and me losing the person that has made me the happiest i've felt in the last fifteen yrs. Don't get me wrong...Kink can be fun...but it isn't the same as the lifestyle.

[annie]

This thread happened to jump out at me. i just joined as a member today, and i can say from my past expierences within the lifestyle, that i was unfortunate enough to have three different "Dommes" that only wanted control in the bedroom. i was twenty yrs. old with the first "Domme", and was misguided due to her wants in the bedroom, but having no controll of me outside the bedroom. i was young and with my second Domme (She actually wanted a 24/7 live-in), i went into that relationship, thought i knew alot more than what i did, and was shown the door by Her very quickly because i thought i had more expierence than what i did in the lifestyle. i've since had two other "Dommes" that, also, unfortunately, wanted only play in the bedroom. It's now seven yrs. later for me, and luckily, with my second Domme, i know now what is nessessary outside of the bedroom...learnig how a Domme wants Her meals prepared, learning how to lace/tie Her shoes/boots, ect, learning just the basic of how She wants things done in Her personal and/or private life. On a Personal note for myself, i have only known one stretch of happiness in my life since my mother passed away when i was 13, and it was with that second Domme...Giving up the control i had over myself to Her...it was the most amazing thing i have ever bee a part of...i honestly feel screwed over by the other three "Dommes"(especially the first one), for giving me insufficient knowledge of the 24/7 lifestyle, and me losing the person that has made me the happiest i've felt in the last fifteen yrs. Don't get me wrong...Kink can be fun...but it isn't the same as the lifestyle.

Well said.... and makes perfect sense. There is a difference for some and as long as they can determine that difference for their happiness that is what matters.... Hope you find again what makes you happy.

[Ruby]

Welcome Skippy!

Ditto what Annie said.

---

Sir Russell,

I can't imagine you as a submissive.

I imagine that you'd be the alpha/dominant male in any pack or lifestyle you choose.

---

Thanks to everyone who's given been active in this thread. It's a great read.

[skippy1980]

...and thank Y/you all for having me.

[Sir_Russell]

welcome skippy you will find the one you need and hopefully will find your joy in serving her, test her enough to be sure she is what you want and need then put that away to live a joyful life.

[Sir_Russell]

This is too good a thread to let die

For me I enjoy both but desire it to be a lifestyle that only the needs of the real world intrude on.

I must work and normally can't act the Dom with any of the ladies I meet there, actually that would be bad manners too. Since at the moment I am subless I find it hard to live the life. I am torn currently with pangs from missing having a lovely bottom over my knee waiting and wanting a spanking to having a lovely kneel at my feet and using no hands freeing then sucking on my cock.

The Life is what we make it, and I hope that soon I will find the submissive that understands the joy she can have by being mine. That I will not live a life of constant strife no matter how beautiful she is or how good she is at sex. The life is about peace and joy when done by a willing cooperative couple.

[Isabelle90]

This thread was one of the first ones that I read after joining. It made me do some real soul searching.

Here's what I came up with:I didn't enjoy sex until it got kinky. Didn't have my first orgasm until I'd had fantasies about D/s relationships. I'm going with the lifestyle route