Cum Restriction Support Thread

[Logic1]

Not really...

why not?
makes for the fun kind of punishments imo.

[Rhabbi]

Not really...

why not?
makes for the fun kind of punishments imo.

I agree with you Logic, plus the deliberate disobedience means that I am doing something wrong.

[Ozme52]

Accidental disobedience? Would you accept that excuse from a child? From an employee?
More than once; "I forgot" doesn't fly in the vanilla world. Why should you accept that from your subs within the lifestyle.

Continual forgetfulness is not forgetfulness. It's no less willful than deliberate disobedience.

And why do you need an excuse for "the fun kind of punishment." What you do for fun is not a punishment. If a punishment is required... it shouldn't be fun. So you encourage your submissive to play at being disobedient in order to get fun-time. You're talking about playing at B&D and S&M while you roleplay D/s.

And worst of all... when you make your submissives the center of attention, you serve them.

My submissives serve me. NONE of them, past or present, nor likely in the future, fail to understand their role. They obey because the want to please me. They fear getting punished, not because I'm harsh but because they truly do not wish to displease me and gladly offer themselves up for a spanking or a paddle, ten or twentyfold the number, because they know it pleases me to have them across my knee.

[Logic1]

I am definitely sure that people make mistakes and I do accept that they do. It would be very strange to assume that people dont make mistakes or do something wrong. A mistake made by a kid or coworker or even your sub, should ofcourse be punished but when it is by accident I sure dont feel like a harsh punishment should be the case.

Disobedience is one thing and deliberate disobedience is a whole different matter imo.
I dont do everything right all the time and for me to assume that anybody else never will screw up would be just dumb of me. I dont do that.

[Rhabbi]

I am definitely sure that people make mistakes and I do accept that they do. It would be very strange to assume that people dont make mistakes or do something wrong. A mistake made by a kid or coworker or even your sub, should ofcourse be punished but when it is by accident I sure dont feel like a harsh punishment should be the case.

Disobedience is one thing and deliberate disobedience is a whole different matter imo.
I dont do everything right all the time and for me to assume that anybody else never will screw up would be just dumb of me. I dont do that.

I agree Logic. Mistakes happen, and some people are more apt to make them then others, especially simply forgetting things. Why would I assume that someone is deliberately courting attention by making mistakes, and then reinforce that behavior by giving them attention?

As I am imperfect, I temper my judgment of my subs with that knowledge. To do anything less would be telling them that it is ok for me to make mistakes, but not for them to do so.

[Naomisagoodgirl]

Three out of four Doms agree, mistakes happen and can be fun. Fortunately the one that matters is on my side. I'm a forgetful person, but I try my hardest to please Sir. Sir knows this and loves me despite my forgetfulness, if not because of it. I'm very lucky.

The implications that I am spoiled and don't understand my role hurt me a little, even though I know they shouldn't. Sir is a wise and experienced Dom and he wouldn't let me be spoiled or misunderstand my role in his life.

And I would like everyone to note that the bed is made right now. Hot damn is it made. There is not a single thing wrong with that bed. I can't wait until Sir gets home. Of course, I probably forgot something else .. .

[Ozme52]

(This post was intended to directly follow Logic's and Rhabbi's posts.)

I said "More than once."

More than once is no longer an "accident." Of course mistakes happen. But don't fool yourselves, the second or third time... you punish the child, or fire the employee. You don't say to your child "Wow, let's celebrate by going to the zoo." You don't say to the employee "Here's a raise for being sorry."

Here she is, in part, answering the question "What did you learn?"

Apparantly nothing because I forgot to make it again today.

I don't wish to speak harshly about this particular girl, but you gents seem bent on defending this kind of behavior.

"Forgetting" "again..." That's a problem in my eyes. A problem you seem all to willing to coddle. A problem you think is fun to deal with.

I'm way to occupied with disobeying on accident.

Nor do I see a lot of remorse. Nor a lot of respect...

[Ozme52]

As I am imperfect, I temper my judgment of my subs with that knowledge. To do anything less would be telling them that it is ok for me to make mistakes, but not for them to do so.

Oh yeah? Well the proofs in the pudding. Go break one of your sub's hard limits. Talk about it and tell her it won't happen again. Then do it again and say you forgot.

Let's see how forgiving she'll be of your seeming disregard and disrespect of her.

Oh... I already know you'll say something on the order of "It's not the same thing." But it really is.

[Ozme52]

Three out of four Doms agree, mistakes happen and can be fun. Fortunately the one that matters is on my side. I'm a forgetful person, but I try my hardest to please Sir. Sir knows this and loves me despite my forgetfulness, if not because of it. I'm very lucky.

The implications that I am spoiled and don't understand my role hurt me a little, even though I know they shouldn't. Sir is a wise and experienced Dom and he wouldn't let me be spoiled or misunderstand my role in his life.

And I would like everyone to note that the bed is made right now. Hot damn is it made. There is not a single thing wrong with that bed. I can't wait until Sir gets home. Of course, I probably forgot something else .. .

Sorry Naomi, it really isn't my intention to make an example of you. For that I apologize. I have an issue with the approach some of the gentlemen here take.

There are so many dominants here who are new to the lifestyle... and they only get to see two types of doms. The "Down on your Knees bitch" type or the polar opposite who make the D/s relationship revolve around the submissive.

Well, for the most part the former get ridden out of town on a rail... and pretty soon you have a population of new dominants who think it's all about "brats" and play punishment. I'm not knocking it if it works for you and your master... but for many of the new doms looking for guidance, they know no other way...

There is a middle road. And a whole lot of submissives who relish it, crave it... and don't get to participate in it.

[Naomisagoodgirl]

I think it's pretty bold of you to quesiton my respect for my Master. I respect my Master deeply. So deeply it makes my head spin. And I show that respect everyday, in my own way, in a way that pleases my Master.

That's like saying Sir disrespected me by breaking one of my hard limits, when in fact it wasn't my hard limit, but your sub's hard limit. My Master isn't you.

[Naomisagoodgirl]

Thank you for your apology Oz, I posted before I read it. I do get my feelings hurt too easily.

[Ozme52]

Go up one post naomi... our posts are crossing.


Make that two... which I see you already have as yet another set of postings crossed.

And truly do not have an issue with you... it was unfortunate that my arguement with the other gentlemen revolved around a post you happened to make.

[Naomisagoodgirl]

Hee, and again. You saw that I thanked you for your apology, right? Maybe you should start a whole thread on this issue, one that doesn't focus on me as an example of what irks you.

Aw, a flower. It's all good, no hard feelings. I agree it is an interesting issue. The "down on your knees bitch" vs. the "hee hee brat." I get what you're saying.

[Rhabbi]

For my post, go here.

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...ad.php?t=12218

[Ozme52]

First off, I would never break a subs hard limits, though I occasionally push them. If I did something like what you describe I would be mistreating her and breaking her trust in me.

You miss the point of the question. But you make mine. I agree. That would be mistreatment. Why do you condone subs who mistreat the dom? (Only we call it disrespect.)

And just because some does something more than once does not mean that she is doing it on purpose. I have occasionlly forgotten to do something numerous times, especially when trying to learn something new.

That's a different scenario. Forgetting some component of a larger or complex task doesn't require punishment of any sort. The attempt to learn counts. Tell me how forgetting the entire task is the equivalent?

Anyway, this thread is not about this type of thing, it was started by my sub in an attempt to garner some help for subs going through cum restriction as trining, not as a punishment. you can be sure that when I punish my sub she knows the difference between it and training.

Many threads morph. If you don't want to discuss it... stop asking questions or making statements that beg responses.

[tessa]

tessa, your mini bar joke rocked.

I wish I could take the credit, but that thanks belongs to jeanne.

There is a middle road. And a whole lot of submissives who relish it, crave it... and don't get to participate in it.

So true.

First off, I would never break a subs hard limits, though I occasionally push them.

Is there ever a reason to push hard limits? If they're indeed hard limits, are they to be pushed? I'm not looking to argue or debate. I'm just really curious about this idea.

Also, if forgetfulness is at the root of the "accidental disobedience", perhaps the sub could make a list of what is to be done and refer to it often? Might help. Just a thought.

And as this is a CR thread, bless all y'all's hearts who are going through it and I hope it comes to a successful end soon.

[Ozme52]

There is a middle road. And a whole lot of submissives who relish it, crave it... and don't get to participate in it.

So true.

You know. Don't you girl.

[Rhabbi]

You miss the point of the question. But you make mine. I agree. That would be mistreatment. Why do you condone subs who mistreat the dom? (Only we call it disrespect.)

That's a different scenario. Forgetting some component of a larger or complex task doesn't require punishment of any sort. The attempt to learn counts. Tell me how forgetting the entire task is the equivalent?

Many threads morph. If you don't want to discuss it... stop asking questions or making statements that beg responses.

Point to any instance anywhere where I condoned anyone disrespecting anyone and I will back down on this issue.

My point, and I believe Logic's also, was that people are imperfect. Mishka particularly has trouble remembering things so I am sensitive on this issue. I discuss it with her when she forgets something, but do not assume that if she does it more than once that it is because she is being deliberately disobedient. Logic's initial comment was about accidental disobedience, and you chimed in with the opinion that it does not exists, that repeated instances of forgetting things is deliberate.

That is not the case, and it does not just mean simple forgetting part of a larger task. And would not forgetting to make the bed after living a whole life of not doing so fall into that category anyway? That of the myraid individual tasks of keeping house.

As I stated, this thread is meant to discuss cum restriction as training, and although it expanding to include cum restriction as a punishment is not beyond the scope of the thread, this discussion about different philosophies of training and punishment is way beyond the original inten. That does not mean I am not willing to discuss it, but I do think we are going past the intent of Mishka when she started the thread. And, as she is on vacation, I am speaking up for her.

[Logic1]

Yes Rhabbi we agree completely.
Nothing wrong with a good discussion though.
Middle road is where I find myself I think but like everybody, guideance is never wrong.

Last word in well, I dont feel I have the need to have the last word either so.

I support cumrestriction support *s*

[Naomisagoodgirl]

If you all still feel like talking about this I started a thread about it. I'm interested to hear more of what everyone has to say.

[Mishka]

I think I'm starting to like cum restriction. Don't masturbate, change the subject when Master is whispering inspiring things to me so I don't send myself over the edge, etc. It's so sensual and I feel the control He has over me, and that makes it even more sensual and I'm safe.

Now the denial...when in the middle of a sexual act...that my body does not comprehend. "I just got started here!" she screams. Then she does whatever the hell she wants...because I have no idea how to simply not cum. I ended up biting down and biting down...came to a place where I thought that was the end of it...then dried up like an old sponge. Yeah. That was sensual. (note dripping sarcasm) but poor Mishka is not dripping. not even a little.

[Warbaby1943]

I think I'm starting to like cum restriction. Don't masturbate, change the subject when Master is whispering inspiring things to me so I don't send myself over the edge, etc. It's so sensual and I feel the control He has over me, and that makes it even more sensual and I'm safe.

Now the denial...when in the middle of a sexual act...that my body does not comprehend. "I just got started here!" she screams. Then she does whatever the hell she wants...because I have no idea how to simply not cum. I ended up biting down and biting down...came to a place where I thought that was the end of it...then dried up like an old sponge. Yeah. That was sensual. (note dripping sarcasm) but poor Mishka is not dripping. not even a little.

Too bad things worked out that way for you but not everyone is the same, as I'm sure you already know. Some end up dripping even more along with much frustration.

[Rhabbi]

I think I'm starting to like cum restriction. Don't masturbate, change the subject when Master is whispering inspiring things to me so I don't send myself over the edge, etc. It's so sensual and I feel the control He has over me, and that makes it even more sensual and I'm safe.

Now the denial...when in the middle of a sexual act...that my body does not comprehend. "I just got started here!" she screams. Then she does whatever the hell she wants...because I have no idea how to simply not cum. I ended up biting down and biting down...came to a place where I thought that was the end of it...then dried up like an old sponge. Yeah. That was sensual. (note dripping sarcasm) but poor Mishka is not dripping. not even a little.

We have not fully explored CD yet kitten, perhaps you will actually grow to like it as well. Though I personally doubt that, the possibility does exist.

btw

Welcome
Back

I missed you.

[Mishka]

Awww...thank You Master. i missed You, too. While i did have a very good time, cum restriction included while away, it's nice to be back. * smooch *

[good_girl]

I hope for me you are all right in that in the end it is all worth it.
I am on restriction for the first time, and yesterday, day 10, I found myself going out of my mind, it had been a bad day at work and I just wanted to come home and make it a good day. Not only have I been on restriction but the communication between us has been limited (apparently I was a bit too egar, so I am learning patience, and it's taking sooo long) As we are both new to this, I was beginning to question why he was doing this to me so I e-mailed him telling him how badly I was struggling. Although I thought this would annoy him, me already being impatient and all, it was something I needed him to know. I was pleasantly surprised later when he contacted me, and let me talk about it, that was all I needed to feel better.
Although I am happy that we were able to talk about it, and he helped me understand why, I do wish I had found this thread sooner, if I had I might not have gotten in the state I was yesterday.

[Rhabbi]

I hope for me you are all right in that in the end it is all worth it.
I am on restriction for the first time, and yesterday, day 10, I found myself going out of my mind, it had been a bad day at work and I just wanted to come home and make it a good day. Not only have I been on restriction but the communication between us has been limited (apparently I was a bit too egar, so I am learning patience, and it's taking sooo long) As we are both new to this, I was beginning to question why he was doing this to me so I e-mailed him telling him how badly I was struggling. Although I thought this would annoy him, me already being impatient and all, it was something I needed him to know. I was pleasantly surprised later when he contacted me, and let me talk about it, that was all I needed to feel better.
Although I am happy that we were able to talk about it, and he helped me understand why, I do wish I had found this thread sooner, if I had I might not have gotten in the state I was yesterday.

That is actually quite normal during training. I imposed CR on Mishka to help her deal with another problem she was having, and at first she felt like she was being punished. Your Dom sounds like a smart man to be willing to listen to your gripes when you need him to, congradulations.

[fallenstar]

i'm on day 16-- a few days back i went insane-- then i talked to Master and he suggested meditation. it really helps both to relax you and give you some control over your body. i'me now doing it several times a day :] dont know if this helps anyone, but it's certainly helping me.

[good_girl]

I think for me, I can be very stubourn, once I decide to do something I do it, but I have to keep myself focused as to why I am doing it, the conversation last night helped me refocus. When I struggle, I should spend more time here reading, instead of running around in circles losing my mind, there is so much good advice and info in these forums, a big thanks to everyone here.

[Mishka]

Our pleasure. Over and over and over again.

That's what I found to help the most, keeping busy.

CR has lifted for me, but I'm glad I had to go through it. I needed it emotionally.

Now I'm on dessert restriction. Kill me now.

[Logic1]

Our pleasure. Over and over and over again.

That's what I found to help the most, keeping busy.

CR has lifted for me, but I'm glad I had to go through it. I needed it emotionally.

Now I'm on dessert restriction. Kill me now.

not on chocolate restriction then I guess