Hi Rowen...just a few more things to think about.....
You are not punishing your mother, by breaking contact. Breaking contact is not punitive, its something for you. Your mother is reaping what she sowed in the past. She planted pain and anger, it now as come to fruition. Do not......do not allow her to make you feel guilty for your feelings.
And if your mother is true to her word....and wants to make it right....woohoo! She should except a relationship with you..........on you terms.......not hers. If you terms are limited to no contact....then she should be happy for you.
OK.........straight up......to damn bad if he suddenly thinks that having a brother is a good idea. He should have though about being so brotherly then.That ship sailed.........long ago. It would be great if he owns up to raping you.......no euphemisms like you played around....or he really didn't mean anything by it..... but owing up to the facts. The brutal truth. Anything less is letting him off the rapist hook.
Please do not allow what happened between you and your brother separate you and you nieces or nephews. Carry on with them....only leave your brother out of the loop. They did nothing wrong and are innocent.
Good luck Rowen
thrall