I've always prefered a "take-charge" guy, even considered myself as a somewhat active submissive. I've just never managed to get the agressive (not even sure that's the right way to put it) response I look for from guys.

Then, yesterday, I had the most amaizing experience. I've met guys online before but it's usually a lot more hassle then it's worth. A lot of me trying to stay safe, arranging to have "chaperones" etc. for guys that either dont show or are just not worth the effort. This one was different. There was a calm assertiveness about his ad that I couldnt ignore. We met for a drink at a local bar and he just stared at me. The most intense eye contact I've ever experienced. Normally I would think that was creepy but it just...wasnt.

After politely indulging me in some small talk, he started to ask me what I liked, what I was into, etc. When he asked me if I'd mind if he held me down I was immediately excited. The familar hope that maybe he gets what I can't even directly ask for. Due to unfortunate circumstances, we knew we would not actually be able to hook up until Friday. When I told him I would think of him as inspiration in the meantime, he asked me to walk him to his car and promised me all the inspiration I'd need.

I'm not sure how much of those detais belong in my introduction, though I'd gladly post them elsewhere -- still getting the lay of the land. But, what I'm getting at I guess, is that I'm hooked. The way he pulled my hair, the things he said to me, the eye contact. He could have made me do just about anything in that parking lot.

I suppose I'm just looking for an outlet. Most of my friends don't quite "get it". They're not judgemental, they just literally have little to no frame of reference...