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  1. #1
    Professional handcuffer
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Birmingham, UK
    Posts
    27
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    I create pain and pleasure in equal measure

    I like my index finger, its nail quite sharp
    It can scratch and tear, yet be gentle and soothe
    As it glides over your leg and up your curves
    Will it be nice, or create havoc to your form?

    And with my thumb its deadly, pinching sensitive parts
    Crushing your nipple with immense vice-like force
    But yet I can reduce the pressure to tease
    Making the areola erect, and so I pinch again

    Now my hands are capable of many good things
    With the palms they can slap, stinging firm buttock
    So they do in very nasty succession
    Their tickling though I think is probably the worst

    I do love my mouth, with its teeth and tongue
    The digits of my hand are nothing to
    what my teeth can bite and my tongue can lick
    And especially, what my lips get to kiss!!!
    Last edited by Darkmagi; 09-16-2007 at 11:33 PM. Reason: Thanks to Chromedome11's suggestions

  2. #2
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    111
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    Very nice, Darkmagi. I've taken the liberty of suggesting the following edits:

    2. "sooth" s/b "smooth" or "soothe"
    4. I would put a ? at the end
    6. "vice like" s/b "vice-like"
    9. "hand is" is singular, but the rest of the verse is plural. Change to "hands are", and "palms"
    12. "it's" s/b "its"
    16. "lips gets" s/b "lips get"
    :boobies2: There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours. -- The Princess Bride

  3. #3
    Professional handcuffer
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Birmingham, UK
    Posts
    27
    Post Thanks / Like
    Cheers for the editing advice, always welcome

  4. #4
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    11,239
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    Interesting poem

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