Demian Hawthorne

[DemianHawthorne]

Well time for the old introduction thread. I will do my best, it's not like people read these things anyway, but here goes.

From an early age I knew I needed someone to control me. Not just for sexual reasons but because I am incompetent at taking care of myself. I have no motivation, no self esteem and no willpower. These things have to come externally through the form of a strong willed man or woman. I like both though I prefer men.

As evident by that first paragraph, I identify as a submissive but many a time I have found myself shunned from BDSM communities I have visited because many have told me I am not a true sub. Like many young people, I chopped at the bit to turn 18 to visit sites like these but so far I have been troubled by the fact that I am complicated. I have no ego and a massive ego. I long to be dominated and controlled this is true, but not to everyone or really anyone I fear. I won't submit to you, I repeat this again, I will NOT submit to you. I need to be made to submit whether through force or cleverness or coercion. So far I have yet to meet the person my submissive sides have clicked with and thus my fantasies have been trapped only in the labyrinth of my mind. Maybe that is my problem, in world of a roleplays and fantasy, I long for reality. Don't bother correcting me, I know I hold a bad point of view and possibly a dangerous one, I have been told before.

As for my vanilla life, not much to say. I have very few interests but those I do, I cherish. I love cinema. Movies are my passion and if you let me, I will talk your ears off about them and my favorites and their intricate plot details and cinematography. Luckily for me I work at a movie theatre so I get to see all of the new movies that come out. I also worked at a Starbucks as a Barista though I recently quit that job..I couldn't stand the people.

I also have very odd and varied music taste ranging from jazz to metal to industrial to classical though my absolute hero is Tom Waits. The man is a genius of music. Also..well..I fear I am beginning to rant so I will leave the introduction at that.