Not as young as i want to be

[pixie_piper]

Let me begin by saying i love my Master and in the end will honor that what He says goes. Still, i can't help but feel that there's a part of me i'm being forced to ignore. i'll try anything once but at the end of the day what i truly love is age play. Now, my Master likes it too, but he won't let me go any younger than 15. i'm only 19 so that's not much of a stretch. i want to be dressed in pink frilly dresses and watch Disney movies and get spankings when i'm bad but Master won't even try it! i understand that if it doesn't please Him i probably won't enjoy it anyways, but lately i dream about it all the time and when He's not around i fantasize about it and i sleep with a teddy bear just to feel it a little. It's getting to the point where dreaming's not enough. How can i get past this longing? i want it so bad but i don't want to displease Master :-(

[ppr128]

May I ask if he has explained why 15 is the lower limit? I personally am not into age play, though I can understand the attraction of doing something like a naughty college/university student scene or something of that nature.

However, due to the experience of a close friend being raped, I have some very strong feelings on consent. For me, these also tie into matters of age, and I'm literally clenching my hands into fists as I type.

It may be a similar matter for him. If 15 is as young as he is comfortable with, it is unlikely to be an arbitrary barrier. He may feel that is as young as someone can be and still give informed (if not legally recognised) consent. Going below that may, for him, feel less like age play as an enjoyable activity and more like he is, on some level, pretending to be a paedophile.

I would try talking to him about it. You may not like being told "no", but at least you will know why, and that should at least make it easier to bear.

[denuseri]

Has he told you why?

You will have to decide ultimately (just as many of us do with other things) if the desire for it is stronger than your desire for his dominion.

No one is forcing you when you still have the will to choose.

Perhaps he has an extreme distaste for such things, perhaps he is uncomfortable with what desires such things may invoke within him.

Is it possible he is simpley testing your submission to his will by denial of that which you desire to see how you may respond?

[pervertedpages]

Have you honestly told him how you feel about this? Perhaps you could confess how much you think about it, and what (extremely sexy) things you think about in a "little" voice. It might rev his engine a little bit, just hearing how much it turns you on, and the fact that you're asking/begging/seducing him with it. I know that my Master has been open to things that he perhaps wouldn't have fantasized about on his own because I was a bit of a seductress in my manner of introducing it. Good timing is also important If it's not a "hard limit" then I don't see the harm in pushing for it in a sexy and pleasing way.

I don't actually know what to do about it if you have something that you consider to be an important part of your sexuality and it is not compatible with your Master, so I'm sorry about that part of the equation, but hopefully that's not the actual issue. I've had to bring up some pretty edgy, heavy, and embarrassing things along the way with my Master and I think the most important thing for me to overcome in getting the sexiness that I desired is getting up the courage to really openly communicate and ask for those things. After a while of doing that you become truly unafraid to bring up, share, and grow in your sexuality with this man and that brings up a whole 'nother level of intimacy.

[pixie_piper]

Thanks so much, both of you. i know you're right, i should talk to Him about it. i mean i've brought it up but never really let Him know how much it was a part of me. i really don't know where His objection to it comes from but i suppose that's something i need to ask as well. Thanks again :-) now to go do some thinkin on the matter...

[pixie_piper]

oh sorry to the first response i didn't see it i'm a little blind lol but thank you as well. Believe me it's not so much as being told no that's the issue as much as i don't know how to deal with the longing, as the urges continue to get stronger. i've been told no plenty of times and i always obey no questions asked. And i do understand your issues with consent, but i guess to me that never played into effect before because everything W(w)e do is done with the understanding that the real me consents fully, mind, body, and soul...even if the play me doesn't. i really appreciate everyone's views and insight and should anyone else have anything to say about the topic i'd be more than happy to hear.

[ppr128]

It's OK This is really meant to be the Sub sub-forum. So, err... Ninja vanish?

[Jennifer Williams]

Another thing you might want to consider is why young age play is such a turn-on for you. What is it about it that makes you so hot? Perhaps there is another type of fantasy you could use to get the same result.

For example, I had a friend once who engaged in age-play, and when I asked her why it turned her on she explained to me that she liked her dom "showing" her everything about her body and "teaching" her about sex, all as if this was her first sexual experience, ever.

She also had fantasies where she was a sheltered farm girl who was absolutely naive about all sexual things and achieved similar results that way.

I don't know if that is the part of it that is a turn-on for you, but perhaps if you were able to figure out what it is about it that turns you on, you could find another type of fantasy to satisfy those needs, or maybe several other fantasies to satisfy different parts of it.

Of course, you should be expressing all of this to your dom.

[leah06]

It sounds to me like the age regression you want to engage in is pretty "non-sexual". I mean, there might or might not be a part of it that is a turn-on, but you don't want to do overtly sexy stuff while acting like a six-year-old.

I wonder if this is clear to him, or if the phrase age-play is confusing to him. What about if you tell him you just want to pretend to be a little girl cuddled up with a safe adult? I'd leave any mention of Daddy out of it for now, and also of spanking. But a pajama party watching Disney movies and eating cookies might be OK with him. Once he's experienced that, then maybe next time he can tuck you into bed and give you a kiss goodnight.

I would suggest leaving all sexy stuff and all discipline out of it until he's very comfortable.

[pixie_piper]

While i have sexual fantasies related to it i think most of it is just the safety. Maybe He would start with just for fun stuff. Thanks! Everyone here is so nice and helpful :-)

[pixie_piper]

Update: Thanks again to the lovely posters! i talked to Master and He agreed to give me days to be little as long as it's not sexual :-) i think it's more than fair and i'm very very happy.

[Jennifer Williams]

and i'm very very happy.

Yay! I love success stories! *sniff*

[pixie_piper]

tehe me too :-) He's planning on taking me to see Shrek 4 then He's gonna take me to the park!!!!!!

[Jennifer Williams]

Wow, out in public and everything! That's a pretty courageous first step for him. Have fun!

[pixie_piper]

hehe thanks, i mean it's out in public but as i've said i'm very small and honestly i look closer to 15 than i do 19...i constantly get carded everywhere i go and He looks older than He really is, but anywho alot of times ppl actually think im His daughter anyways lol plus i'll keep it low key for the public stuff. the park is usually empty though ;-)