I can sympathise wholeheartedly. For me, it can be hard to quiet the brat within, particularly because my Sir actually likes a bit of sass. But, recently i've experienced a bit of the Pavlovian response, as Ozme put it, and it's a relief to succumb to it. But it can largely depend on what is going on in my life...or what my Sir and i are exploring at the time. Ultimately, the intention is always there, i'm just my own worst critic and can understand your frustration. Although, imho, any Dom/Master worth his salt likes a challenge..hehe. All the best working through it and enjoy your play session!