I have observed that as my Domme (wife) and I work at developing our new D/s relationship, I occasionally feel a need to assume the dominant role in our play. I have not done so, but the need is definitely there, and I am beginning to realize that I would enjoy both roles in our D/S relationship. Although I am definitely the submissive and my wife definitely the dominant in our relationship, number of years ago, before we initiated an actual D/s lifestyle, we enjoyed taking turns binding and domming one another. I am concerned that if we are both switches (my wife with a need to occasionally be submissive and I to occasionally be dominant), and we lock ourselves into fixed roles, our D/S relationship is not going to satisfy our true needs.

I assume that others might be in the same quandary, so I would like to pose this question to Forum readers: Should anyone feel compelled to take one role or the other if they believe themselves or their partner to be a switch?

If you are a switch, are you satisfied with only one role and why? If you are not satisfied with only one role, how do you implement the switch from dominant to submissive or vice versa? For example, if a partner who is normally a sub feels a need to be dominant, how does he communicate that need to the dominant and how does the dominant respond? The same question holds for the dominant--how does the dominant make it clear to the sub that she wishes the sub to dom her? I assume the sub must obtain permission from the domme (who could withhold it as punishment) but that the domme need only order the sub to assume the temporary role of dominant, which she requires for her pleasure. No matter what, I assume that clear guidelines and limits would always be required.

steve