whats your BDSM style?

[Havensov]

Since BDSM encompasses such a wide verity of people, styles, and fetishes i would like those who wish to describe how they live the lifestyle. From the scene players that have fun every once in while to the 24/7 couples that take on a daily style.

For me, i have been training a wonderful pet for the past few months who is also a wonderful wife and mother to our children. We are 24/7 but focusing on the sexual more then total. We have set up rules due to the kids and have taken major steps to insure that her authority to the kids is not hindered by our D/s relationship.

We are into bondage, orgasm control, leather and chains, some rope work, corsets, boots, and some costumes. We have tried out some role playing outside of our normal roles, and enjoy and very active sex life because of it.

I am the more experienced of us, and she is new to BDSM other then a few hand cuff incidents in her past. We both are getting what we want, and she is enjoying the discovery of being submissive. If i would have to give myself a descriptive title it would be as a "Soft Dom" as i prefer to use my voice to control her then a whip or crop. I reserve corporal punishments for only for major infractions of the rules and prefer to make her perform most punishments upon herself.

Well thats me and us in shell, how about you?

How do you live the lifestyle?

[Psynymph]

well i'm currently kinda involved in a 24/7 mild D/s relationship with my husband.

my husband is very new to the lifestyle and he's a bit stubborn so it's a slow process. not too mention he's leaving for iraq for a year.

so for the most part i just find myself existing on the outskirts of the bdsm lifestyle so to say. most times i feel like i'm just watching the other couples and participants play.

sometimes i get frustrated because i'm not getting the level of bdsm in my life that i truly desire, but then i realize that ultimately i love my husband. also my biggest problem in life has always been my lack of patience.

so for right now i believe i'm just still learning, helping others along the way.

[Hime]

Maybe more like 7/11 for me... most of what we do is play related to sex or to me pleasing him by wearing certain things or performing minor tasks. We are both interested in exploring D/s further, but lately there has been hardly any extra time or money for fun stuff.

[vistana]

Sexual only, although I can imagine moving beyond that in a very limited way. I'm not a service-oriented sub, I figured out recently that I (sometimes) want to please, but never want to serve.
We have a provocative dynamic. I can be a brat, and I'm sure some would accuse me of topping from the bottom. He enjoys my smart-assed antics, and will punish me if I cross the line, which happens occasionally.
Usually the smart ass in me shuts up pretty quickly when appropriate, and his evil-Domly side coming out subdues it almost completely.

We don't have much of a punishment dynamic, pretty much only the above-mentioned punishments for overdoing the brattiness. We do play punishments, which are just a thinly veiled excuse to give me some new bruises. He is a sadist, and I'm a masochist, pain play constitutes a large part of our dynamic.

I think that's about it, or atleast as good a summary as I can produce at the moment.

[TomOfSweden]

It's been very different depending on who I'm with. Now it's a pretty hard-core 24/7 relationship which we both seem to enjoy very much. But even this can be defined in many different ways. I still do a lot of cooking and housework. That's not what being a slave is all about for me. Only her obedience. I know she would do absolutly anything for me. I'm not a Master because I'm lazy, but only because my comunication is much better with a girl as submissive as the one I've got now.

[moptop]

I feel much like Vistana - principally sexual submissive only, I like to please - sometimes; I am not service-oriented at all (well put, Vistana, thank you). Whilst I love carrying out instructions during the day, they are dressing/mastubatory instructions only, and they are not permitted (by me, i.e. limit) to cause people to wonder at me within my 'vanilla' relationships, and to put me in a submissive relationship with the rest of the world. I am and am known as a strong minded woman, considered a natural leader, and I will stay that way, except with Them.

Although I am easily subdued to trembling putty by The Look or tone of voice I have not yet had the opportunity to see if I will counter it in every day life, with current partners. I don't know to what extent I can be maintained in thrall. Am only just discovering my enjoyment of other women - well, a.n.other woman. I am into bondage, constriction, spanking, cropping, whipping, toys. Toys. I love toys. I have a small suitcase of clothes to go to India with, and almost the same again of toys, just invested in several different remote control ones, such fun. Anyone know whether they show up as suspicious on x-rays at airports?

Whilst in India, am also expecting to find out whether I can switch to Domme with my man, who has definitely indicated some submissive tendencies. I suspect I could get very, very into it, rather like my Domme has discovered with me - that is her first switch, previously only hetero sub, although she has previously had a relationship with a woman. A lot of head scratching going on, but hey, learning's fun!

[Stone]

well we are in a d/s relationship thats pretty much covers the time we are together and are in private.not that we dont do stuff in public.around friends we try to tone it down.we like light bondage spanking whipping humilation stuff like that not all over the top but we are still figuring out the limits and such

[subserviant]

i luv the time before we play , i play the part of the brat ,she warns me to behave but i dont of course and knowing that i can only push her so far before the crop comes out makes it all the more delish

[MrDom]

even tho we are not living together yet we are doing the M/s relationship and it progression very good and with ever visit it get too be more hard core

[Neon]

This is a bit difficult for me as I am new to this, but here it goes.
My wife and I have been married for about ten yrs. We have seven kids (yes I said 7). We have played at some BDSM things, such as bondage, spanking, and some role playing, but nothing serious. then about one week ago we happened across this site and started reading some of the forums and post. We then started talking about it and thought we would play at it again. She started telling me that there were some people that live their lives by BDSM and ask me what I thought about it. I said I didn't know what to think. Then it dawned on me that she was asking to take up this lifestyle. I asked her how far she wanted to take it, and she informed me all the way. She also informed me that for the whole ten years we have been together she has wanted me to totaly dominate her, that she always saw an "Inner Dom" in me, and that she was just waiting for me to come to it on my own. I was floored. So after alot more discusion we decided to fully take up the lifestyle. I made out rules for her, which are as follows:
Honey’s Rules
1. Honesty at all times. You will be honest and forthright at all times. To be dishonest to Sir is to dishonor Him. Dishonesty is punishable.
2. You must be respectful at all times. Do not show any disrespect in any manner, whether verbal or physical. This includes, but not limited to, yelling, hitting, and cussing at Sir, especially in front of the kids. To disrespect Sir, means punishment.
3. You will address Sir properly, “Dear” in front of kids and “Sir” or “Master” in private. To fail means punishment.
4. Must obey all direct orders, without question. To question is to be punished.
5. There will be no treason. To discuss this with anyone else without Sir’s approval means punishment.
6. Never question Sir’s authority, even if you are not sure of reason, especially in front of the kids. To do so means punishment.
7. You will learn to swallow. Not to means punishment.
8. You must present yourself as a lady at all times. This means everywhere, and entails make-up, shaved, and clean. You must start wearing at least a thong or g-string at all times. To break these rules means punishment.
9. You must memorize these rules and be able to recite them at Sir’s demand. To fail means punishment.
10. You will bath Sir once a week. This includes shaving.


Honey’s Nightly Routine
1. You will read to girls for 20 minutes every night and get them in their beds.
2. You will kneel naked for 20 minutes in closet to meditate on Sir and your relationship, and use this time to memorize these or any other rules that Sir may have changed.
3. You will write about the day and anything you felt everyday in a journal provided by Sir. Minimum of 150 words.
4. You will sit naked on bed and await any punishment that is to be given for the day.
5. You will service Sir at His command.

Punishment
1. Punishment will be given nightly for minor infractions.
2. Punishment will be given on a weekly basis for more serious infractions on Saturday night. If none is due then this time will be used for maintenance.
3. After every punishment or maintenance session there will be a discussion with Sir.
*These rules are subject to change at Sir’s discretion, and you will be informed in advance when change will take place.

Now, we know that we will have to iron out the wrinkles in this, but we are comfortable in that we absolutely love each other and we will make it work. We know that we will have to tweak these a bit here and there as time goes on. The biggest thing is that I finally get to take charge and that is the best gift she has ever given me.

[steelish]

Well, since I am in a somewhat vanilla marriage, I don't know how it would be for a 24/7 D/s relationship, but do I want that? Yes, I do. I definitely like the idea of it. Maybe if I lived it I might not like it, I don't know without trying it at least once. BUT, since I am in love with a man who is not into that, I guess I won't ever get to experience it.

I dearly love the time I spend with Ronn{s} and the nature of our relationship goes beyond the sexual. He does top me (mmmmm, oh so nicely), but he also listens to me and we talk as equals.

I think, for me, BDSM is an integral part of me, whether I live the lifestyle or not. I can't imagine my life without it in some form.