Before going off topic in another thread I took up JaneSC's and Finding Fantasy's suggestion to start this thread to discuss how important -or not- sex can be in this lifestyle. Is it just meant to enhance the D/s-bdsm experience or is it the other way around?

The sexual meanings of bdsm are numerous and undeniable. Do they apply only to doms or to subs? Is there a stage in the evolution of a dominant/submissive relationship when sex should not matter anymore or should it become more important?

And to bring out the heaviest of questions, What about love? In my opinion sex is optional in D/s-bdsm but love is not. I am sure there are those who will disagree. I would love to hear their point of view. To quote from the beautiful bdsm movie 'Secretary':"Does it look like I am doing anything sexual?"