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Angie\'s An Adult
Author: SEVERUSMAX
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(Added on Mar 10, 2006)
(This month 20777 readers) (Total 42809 readers) |
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A teen virgin decides to give her cherry to the next-door neighbor, an unwilling cuckold whom she must first liberate from his abusive wife. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 7 |
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14% |
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29% |
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29% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (2/10) |
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| Reviewer:
pdxcuckold
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 13, 2007 |
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Not much to say,the writing did not work at all for me. The plot, characters, and dialog were all distractingly unrealistic. (2/10)
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| Reviewer:
jip
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 19, 2006 |
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110306: first review: Very good. Erotic. Relation between the man and the girl well developped.
190306: the 2nd and 3rd part are also an excellent continuation. Revenge is only justice. Liked it very well. Stays sexy.
I increased my score to 10, as I quote the story as a story and not the fact that the author gives himself a score. I write also some stories, but would never even think to give a score to myself. In that respect, I agree with the remarks of other readers. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
CommieCowboy
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 16, 2006 |
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While the "" smack in the middle of the title nearly caused me to prematurely disregard this story as the gibberish of a careless author, I was lucky enough to be sufficiently intrigued by the description's premise that I wanted to read the story. What I've had the pleasure of reading so far is quite well-written, and I am especially impressed with the author's establishing of Angie and Allan's character and motivations, both sexual and otherwise. I am excited about the way the author is developing this story and look forward to reading future installments, meeting Charmaine, and getting to see Angie and Allan's creative (and other ;-))juices flow as they plot their revenge on the bitch.
Wow...Part two was awesome: It was just as well-written and as descriptive as the first part, and it turned me on even more. The author does an exquisite job of making me join Allan and Angie in reveling in Charmaine's sexual torture. Along with Life of the Party, this is my favourite in-progress story on this website and I look forward to many more parts in the future. Maybe a few parts down the line, Charmaine's lovers will come looking for her: It would be fun to see sparks fly between them and Allan and Angie. That being said, this is a fairly uplifting story, and I wouldn't mind seeing it stay that way and for Allan to end up getting the last laugh. :-)
Note to the author: A better idea when you feel that you must review your own story for some reason is to give it a rating equal to the average at the time. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
La Toya
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 13, 2006 |
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I would call it a fair start. Had you not reviewed your own story you may have earned a higher rating.
If there is another chapter, I will think about a raise in the rating (4/10)
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- Replied by:
SEVERUSMAX
(Edit) (Mar 14, 2006)
- I fail to see why I should be penalized in ratings for replying to the reviews of my story with which I disagreed. I am as entitled as anyone to an opinion about my story.
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| Reviewer:
bracemaiden
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 12, 2006 |
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Reviewing your own story and giving yourself a ten seems pompous.
The story lacks quite a bit in the credibility department. Any belt good enough to be worn for weeks will not have a lock that easily picked. And nobody goes from virgin to slut on a day. . . give me something plausible. (6/10)
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- Replied by:
SEVERUSMAX
(Edit) (Mar 12, 2006)
- I've seen some flimsy chastity belts in my research, Brace. Also, she wasn't a prude. She was a very deliberate sort of girl, who knew exactly when and how she wanted to become a slut. There are people like that, who have a lot of self-discipline and determination in the pursuit of their goals. Some are even teens. She is such a person. And I naturally am proud of my own story, especially one with a twist like that. It sounds as if there is a hidden reason for your dislike of it.
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| Reviewer:
SEVERUSMAX
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 12, 2006 |
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Interesting point about the chastity belt. Actually, it's very simple. She doesn't count on any third parties sympathizing with him or caring enough about him to intervene, let alone any with skills at picking locks. I never said that Angie didn't have a tomboy or mechanical streak. I frankly don't know how the double quotes got there.
Incidentally, I hope to make it clearer over time that Allan was only naive when he was younger, and intimidated into chastity. He was never a willing cuckold/wimp. And Angie is not your typical teen girl. She has a lot more willpower, despite her latent sub streak (actually, she's more of a switch, as will become obvious). Hope that answers some questions. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
geoff
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 11, 2006 |
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pretty good, reasonably well written but suffers a little in the credibility stakes. (6/10)
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- Replied by:
CommieCowboy
(Edit) (Mar 11, 2006)
- I see what you mean: You'd think Charmaine would have gotten a better chastity belt and would have done a better job at ensuring that Allan could not be liberated so easily. Hopefully, Severus will develop Charmaine's personality in a way that makes this seemingly absurd arrogance plausible.
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