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The Tale of Two Women
Author: Lewis Chappelle
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(Added on Dec 9, 2006)
(This month 53044 readers) (Total 95505 readers) |
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This is a multi-part tale of two women who experience increasing levels of submission, pain and humiliation. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 11 |
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36% |
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9% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 3, 2007 |
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nice way to start a New Year (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Rabbit1
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 2, 2007 |
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Nice start ---would love to see more (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
diem
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 15, 2006 |
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You did the mixup of names in the bathroom scene to see if we were paying attention, right?
Great start. Provides the potential for endless subsequent chapters that I'll be watching for. The escort service can be staffed with personnel for clients with special interests. The placement agency and escort service might be used to aquire, train and market sex slaves. No end to the possibilities!
Looks like you have a great following already. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 13, 2006 |
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A fine start, and anxious to see more. You have Chloe and Sara mixed as to who is suspended in the second chapter. Oh, and plurals get just an "s", not "'s". Apostrophe S after the word is for possessives, like a hand's fingers, but she has two hands. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
skullblade
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 13, 2006 |
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I really love the way the story is going and I can not wait to read more in the future. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
Good_Grip
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 12, 2006 |
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I've read the first two chapters. The story is well written and easy to follow. I will be interested to see how it develops. Like one of the other reviewers, i would like to see some more detail about the girls and what happens when they are punished.
In chapter two, I think you got the characters mixed up in the dinner scene. I think you were referring to Sara as Cloe some of the time. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
JonMaddux
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 12, 2006 |
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Very good set-up!! Normally my ADHD kicks in and i wonder off during a story thats slow to start but this one kept my attention pretty well. My personal taste would have given their shape and dimensions in greater detail but thats just me. I think you did a very good job with this first story! I am sure one of the resident English majors will have snidy little comment but you did great! (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
jip
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 12, 2006 |
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Promising story. As other reviewer said, lets wait until the next. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
floydpolgar
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 11, 2006 |
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Note: rated after only reading first installment.
This story has potential. I still have a problem with rating stories too early. Just can't tell if the premise is going to be executed well or not. (See my review for Madox.)
I have a theory about how to start stories in this genre of fiction. It is that an erotic punch should be delivered as early as possible in the narrative. That is what readers of this kind of story is looking for. This story starts with a long build up. The first installment brings the main characters together in California. There is a sex scene but don't blink or you will miss it. In this installment, the author was more interested in laying the groundwork for the series than delivering that punch.
I notice that a lot of stories are written this way but I still regard that as a weakness. That's just my opinion. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
cala
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 10, 2006 |
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Not bad! This storys' set up holds some originality. A little disjointed in places, but it's only the first chapter. I'll be interested to see how this progresses, altering my score as appropriate. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
subbaby
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 9, 2006 |
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Very good intro and setup. Excited about what's next. Keep it coming. (9/10)
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