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Bonnie - Her Brother's Slave
Author: Lewis Chappelle
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(Added on Dec 30, 2007)
(This month 59149 readers) (Total 109692 readers) |
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A young girl is trained in the erotic arts and soon asks her parents for permission to be her brother's slave girl for life. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (7/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (4/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Voracious Reader
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 11, 2008 |
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A "good read"? Huh? It reads like a summary, not a story. It is a total waste of time for both the reader and the author. I've enjoyed some of Chappelle's other works, but this one is a whirlwind without any character development or any real action. The whole thing is rushed just to get to a rather unsatisfying ending. Most of Chappelle's other stories (if I recall correctly) are one chapter long, but at least they are more than one PAGE long. I bumped my rating up from a one because they use of the English language is fine - it just didn't SAY anything worthwhile. You've done much better in the past, Lewis.
EDIT TO ADD: (2/11/08) With a few more chapters written, and now with the beginning of "volume II", I can up my rating to a 4. It is still a very weak story, but it has improved a lot from the first read. What it did NOT do, however, was give me any really compelling reason to read volume II. (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
Nemz
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 5, 2008 |
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A good start, but needs polishing. I have to agree with Voracious, this does sound like a summary more so then a story. Unless it's meant to be so and is only an introduction to the rest of the story, I highly suggest rewriting the story. It is a great story idea though, and I would love to read more about it.
Edit - Part Two is a bit better, but it still seems as if you are just scraping out the rough guidelines of the story and not writing an actual story. You need more detail and a bit more going on. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
masterdw
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 2, 2008 |
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I assume this is a first chapter. If it continues, I will be glad to revalue, but while this is not hopeless, there is not enogh for a good review (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 1, 2008 |
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was a good read, not sure how realistic the story is, but a good read anyway (7/10)
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