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Dominatrix Hunting
Author: Sevikaa
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(Added on Feb 14, 2010)
(This month 12170 readers) (Total 22445 readers) |
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Two police officers hunt for a dominatrix who has taken it upon herself to discipline 'deviant' young women across the city. Maids, schoolgirls, office workers - noboby is safe from this woman's willingness to use corporal punishment and bondage to whip these women into shape. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 1 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (8/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (8/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Satan_Klaus
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 17, 2010 |
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First, I have to say that I really love the basic premise of a rogue dominatrix making it her mission to better people by questionable methods. A straight ten for creativity to you.
However, there are a few things where I got the feeling that the author didn't do his homework. Little things, really, but I tend to notice. For example, all girl schools are usually named after female saints. You can't even feel two volts (though you might get burned if the current is strong enough). 'Shocky' things are usually VERY low current and VERY high voltage, at least in the thousands. A glock pistol actually has no safety. It uses a feature called 'trigger safety' that keeps it from accidentially firing when dropped. Nevertheless, no one trained in the use of a gun would throw his down intentionally.
And last but not least, the police methods are a bit...unorthodox. It would make more sense for the officer to rely on torture only AFTER his partner is kidnapped. That would make his character both more believable and more likeable.
Now that's a lot of critism, but please don't misunderstand my intention. If I wasn't excited about the story, I would never have taken the time to write that much about it. I hope to read more from you in the future and that what I told you might help you in your path as a writer.
Satan_Klaus (8/10)
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- Replied by:
Tcheser
(Edit) (Mar 17, 2010)
- I really enjoyed this story and particularly liked the ending. I think however that you should have maintained the initial formula of having the investigators arrive after the Dominatrix has done her work and getting the story from the victims.
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