his_j,

I think it's awesome how all our stories can inter-relate. I'm trying very hard to be "realistically submissive". Problem is, I'm used to being the boss. I've spent 5 years being a recovering doormat, and I'm all too used to calling the shots (in a lot of areas of my life, I still *enjoy* calling the shots). But your advice worked for me: "don't give up, just give in." I remind myself of that whenever it gets hard to let go, and I hear that whiny "but-I-don't-waaant-to" note in my voice. Case in point: last week, I was really sick, felt ugly, did *not* want to go out. He said, however, you will wear something sexy, you will put makeup on and fix your hair, and we are going out. I started to argue, but thought the better of it. And he was right; he loves how I look, even when I feel self-conscious and fat and ugly, and I had an awesome night. I know if I'd whined and argued with him about being sick, he likely would have given in and let me stay home...and then I would have moped around all night and been miserable. Sometimes, giving in is much more fun...

Sorry for the ramble...