Quote Originally Posted by TomOfSweden View Post
Are you a victim of abuse now?
no. havent been since last sept when my nightmares were all over. the physical abuse stopped a couple of years but the mental abuse carried on for much longer, even tho I had moved to a different part of the country.

A lot of things still trigger off memories and I recluse back into my shell to the point where Sadistic1 (S1) has to work harder to get me back to the point before the trigger happened. It is him that I feel sorry for sometimes because it wasnt his doing in the 1st place. It's like sometimes I shut him out and just curl up in a corner as he would tell you himself. Oneday he found me in the dark in the corner of the lounge shaking and crying.

Is the same when I see a bamboo cane... even tho they intrigue me.. I know what they can do. I see the canes as signs of abuse. Those who know my BDSM abuse story will know what I am talking about. The story is around this forum somewhere.

I am lucky to have S1. We have known each other for 5 years and in that time we have grown from just plain friendship to what we are today.